Chapter 5: Lit, page 59.

Oooooh.

THAT kind of fake.

By the way guys, a big pile of orders is shipping Tuesday, and there are still great Black Friday/Cyber Monday deals in the Iron Circus Comics store! $5.00 shirts, $10.00 books, $3.00 patches, and more. Grab something now and it goes out tomorrow afternoon.

88 thoughts on “Chapter 5: Lit, page 59.”

  1. “I won’t LET anyone like Curio!”

    I love how Tuesday has NO IDEA how to deal with a suicidal person. This was drilled into my head as a 10th grader- You call 911, goddamnit! Yes, you try to stay in contact with the person, but emergency services will have a better idea of what to do to help them.

    God, she is dumb. She’s definitely not as smart as she gives herself credit for, that’s for sure.

    1. Yeah, well, considering how Tuesday’s probably from a family of the high-end society, given the references in the comic so far, I think that in her world it’s up to other people to take care of things, unless those things call her own cell number. I wonder if someone eventually did call 911 for Curio or not.

      1. I don’t follow this logic. You’re saying that Tuesday is rich and spoiled and that therefore she gets everyone else to solve all her problems… so instead of just confirming your prejudices she does the opposite and tries to solve the problem on her own. And that somehow that makes her even worse? PARADOX I wonder what she could have done you would approve of besides go back in time and fix whatever unhappy childhood crap you are venting about.

        1. She basically just talked Curio into getting help. She didn’t get Curio help. Because, hey, after talking to an emotionally unstable friend enough to fill her friendship quota, Curio became someone else’s problem.

          Oh, and I wouldn’t approve of anything Tuesday does, if I could avoid it. :-P

    2. “This was drilled into my head as a 10th grader” – I think your education was more complete than most people’s. I just found out one of my online friends tried to ‘fake suicide’ in the same way Curio did. Ate pills, called some people. And NONE OF THEM dialed 911.

  2. XD

    Moze, I love you. In a non-physical, affectionate sense, that is. :) Never change.

    And yeah, that’s about as fake of a suicide attempt as it could be while still being an actual attempt (she did, after all, really swallow the asprin). That kind of thing makes it so much harder for everybody else in a bad situation. It’s clear Curio does need help (and that Tuesday might, kind of, have a sideways sort of point about Moze’s situation), but I’m not sure if there’s anything a professional could do for her.

    1. I was wondering if she really did swallow all that aspirin, though. How could she have called eight other people after Tuesday and lived?

      1. Without checking any sources, I remember that aspirin makes you more likely to bleed – can cause internal bleeding, or bleeding from a cut or similar, but it’s not the thing itself that’ll kill you, unlike with sedatives (especially sedatives + alcohol).

        1. Aspirin thins the blood. A whole bottle of it can be deadly. Death from aspirin overdose is most commonly due to cardiopulmonary arrest as a result of pulmonary edema but the list of conditions resulting from its toxicity is no short nor pleasant list. As has been said somewhere, “There must be a better way!”

  3. Oh, zing! I’m sure Mose wasn’t trying to zing Tuesday with that comment, but I do wonder how upset she’ll get.

    So the aspirin incident was in high school, and yet Tuesday continues to hang out with Curio, when they’re not arguing. Why???

    1. There’s a passage from Peter Pan that this reminds me of, that Hook envies Smee because Smee has good form without knowing he has it. This is the same kind of envy I now feel for Moze. He delivered a killer shot without ever intending it or probably even knowing he did.

    1. I’m pretty sure that’s the remnants from Uncle’s scrapbooking. Go figure he’d use porno mags to show what he wants in the afterlife.

      1. Most guys would, I think, if they could put into detailed images what they wanted to spend their afterlife with. :-P

  4. Now I really wonder what was written in that letter to Moze ’cause Tuesday is really coming from left field with the whole Curio thing.

    1. “You don’t know ANYTHING about her at ALL. You just THINK you do. And it is so obvious that that is a THING you do.”
      Says Curio, while holding the letter. Which is from a girl that Moze has never met in person, but he assumes is alright with the arranged marriage.
      She is relating the way that Moze assumes the best about people.
      Of course, Curio isn’t the best way to show this idea, I suppose. I don’t think someone who knows her even slightly would be too surprised about her doing something like this.

      Still loving how Tuesday’s example isn’t the best. I mean, she just went on about how Curio’s life wasn’t very nice. Guh! The NERVE of Curio being irrational and acting out for the sake of getting help and sympathy. What a ~*~*~*PHONY~*~**~, right guys?
      Tuesday. So terrible. Kinda hope she never changes.

    2. Think back to the beginning of the scene where Tuesday was checking her phone messages and listened to a drunk Curio complaining about her. She’s still thinking about that.

    3. I think it’s mostly just that Tuesday doesn’t care about the letter, she’s just thinking about Moze and Curio.

  5. If I recall, they are cleaning up his Uncle Shep’s apartment. They aren’t at Moze’s at all. These are the remnants of *Shep’s* afterlife scrap book. Raunch-Monger? HA!

  6. Oh, Moze. This is the best thing you have ever done.

    And god forbid you should have to talk to your potentially suicidal friend for a whole *ten minutes*, Tuesday.

  7. I have never loved Moze more than I do right now.

    Well, in a totally platonic-like-I-love-my-creepy-uncle-because-he-freaks-everyone-else-out-more-than-me sort of way.

  8. I was wondering why the pictures were cut out of the porno mags… Then I remembered Shep’s folder. Haha. Nice little reverse Chekhov’s Gun there.

  9. Curio is making me sad :( This isn’t supposed to happen.
    I think she just wanted to see if anyone would notice/pick up the phone/care, as it seems that she didn’t have many friends.
    She probably would’ve fallowed through with it if nobody did.
    Also Moze is awesome the end.

  10. …Is it me, or is Tuesday a raving narcissist? She seems utterly unable to grasp someone having a different point of view.

    1. Tuesday a raving narcissist?! NO!!! Say it ain’t so! lol

      Also, will we EVER get to see Moze’s eyes (in a non-emergency)? :-)

  11. Tuesday’s such a tightly wound ball of self interest that you’d need an icepick to get someone else’s point of view into her skull. She doesn’t see the pain that Curio was going through that caused her to act out in a cry for help, she just feels that Curio bothered her, took up her time and tried to make her feel bad with her personal shit. I think she is a borderline sociopath. Self serving and completely lacking empathy. I betcha a beer Moze see’s something good in her though. He’s awesome like that.

      1. Uh, no. I wouldn’t call Moze a pervert, either (his 11-year-old betrothed notwithstanding, I haven’t seen anything that would suggest that his tastes are weirder than mere lack of standards), but as someone with the inside perspective on being a guy rather than the sexist stereotype, I can say that he’s not just more open about it; he actually is a much bigger horndog than I’ve ever been. There are women I find attractive, women I don’t find attractive, women I find actually unattractive, women I wouldn’t fuck with someone else’s dick. Moze, from what we’ve seen, has two categories: Women who’ve said ‘yes’, and women who he’s still trying to convince to say ‘yes’.

  12. Will the Sincerists make Moze an honorary member? They should.
    ‘Cept he’s way too chill to hang out with them.

  13. I can’t help it, I see Tuesday in the last two panels and I keep thinking, “For fuck’s SAKE, girl, EAT something. The ABC’s of health aren’t Anorexia, Bulimia and Constant activity.”

    1. I think it is the trash bag outfit she wears, she is just sweating off the pounds. Soon there will be nothing left but a skeleton.

  14. I love how Tuesday says that she was on the phone “like forever omg” and then admits it was about ten minutes. Ten minutes is a pretty quick pick-me-up call, imo.

    A buddy of my brother’s tried this on him once. She showed up at his work saying she’d eaten a bottle of Tylenol and a had bottle of vodka or something. He made her sit down and he called an ambulance. Bonuses: she actually did end up getting help and she never pulled that trick again. /csb

    1. I dunno… I would imagine (purely speculative here) that 10 minutes could actually feel like forever if you’re convinced that your friend (or whatever) is in danger of dying if you can’t convince them to get help. Particularly in hindsight if they go on to milk it with several other people.

      Tuesday is terrible, but I don’t think she’s as terrible as many of you are saying. Everyone in Templar is deeply damaged but stilling trying to be okay people.

      And Reverse Chekov’s Gun is my new favorite literary term.

      1. Especially 10 minutes when you’re in, what, high school and probably don’t have half a clue what you should _say_ in a situation like this, and may or may not be sure if the person is actually even telling the truth or if they’re going to bust out laughing at you and go “April Fool’s!” or something.

        That would feel like forever to me, too.

  15. See this is what I like about Spike’s writer (and it’s a good writing tip in general)

    Every exchange does heavy lifting. Every line of dialogue either moves the plot or further establishes character. Look at what we’ve learned on this page.

    Curio: Still unstable! Still a vortex of attention! In some kind of crazy hate me-look at me relationship with Tuesday, the perfect audience to her drama.
    Tuesday: Has been friends with Curio a long time. Flies into wild hatestorms! Is warning Moze about people but hey look at that, Curio’s Problem is All About Tuesday. God they deserve each other.
    Moze: Assumes the best about people. Fucked Curio! Will fuck anything!

    all of that in six panels.

  16. Considering Tuesday’s sick oneupmanship with Curio and Nicky, am I the only one that thinks that she’s catalyzing her feelings about Curio’s call and the discovery of his wife into a little jealousy-hate-ball? Something like, “I don’t care about this fat hairy slob but I cannot BELIEVE he cares about someone that’s not me.” ? It’d be a pretty psychotic reaction to the aforementioned things, but…yeah.

  17. God damn, I shudder at Moze’s definition of “okay”. He’s a lovable teddy bear on the outside, but on the inside, he just sees women as walking vaginas.

    1. I don’t know if he really views women as walking vaginas, i think he’s an opportunist. He clearly cares about Mere, and seems to have a broad, hedonistic love of life. He loves ladies, he loves having sex with ladies. That seems to be the only difference in the way he treats anyone – everyone’s pretty much okay and equal, and if you’re a lady you’re also a possible sex partner. Nothing about what he has done or said seems to communicate any disrespect.

      1. Yeah, I pretty much get the impression that he was born in a state of mind that most people have to smoke enomous amounts of top grade weed to achieve.

    2. Eh, I don’t think he’d be paying even this much attention to Tuesday’s rant or focused on how smart his ‘betrothed’ is instead of how long before she’s legal if he couldn’t think beyond that – insofar as he can think beyond, anyway. And I think Curio would’ve been “okay” with him even if she’d said “no.” Tuesday’s the one who insisted on tying sex to the opinion.

      1. This.
        Moze just loves sex and happens to be a heterosexual.
        If he saw all women as walking vaginas, then he probably wouldn’t be so respectful, albeit in his own way.

  18. Any chance we’ll see a Xenophage t-shirt? I dunno about other people, but I’d like to see, “Morally Indefensible Cuisine” on a tee.

    1. That informs this story. It says that you may babble irrationally, get confused and hallucinate. It sounds as though it would be tough to convince anyone suffering aspirin poisoning to take a logical course of action like calling 911, let alone a lonely neurotic teen.

      1. Well, yeah, but I’m assuming she called Tuesday before the tablets even had a chance of being melted down in her stomach. Also, the gripe is now more on Tuesday for not calling 911 on Curio’s behalf, especially once Curio was off the phone with her.

  19. You know, I don’t think Tuesday is as bad as people are making her out to be. Like what EatBooks said, she still has what Curio said on her mind. She’s selfish, yes, but sociopathic? I think that’s pushing it.

    http://templaraz.com/?p=1290

    I think those guys are much worse than Tuesday.

    1. Tuesday’s like those three all rolled into one. So, in total jerkass-ness, not better nor worse, but more concentrated as she’s just one person. :-P

    2. Two different types. Tuesday is a nrssisstic jerkass, those three are just idots of the purest ray serene.

  20. I think people’s opinions about Tuesday say more about them than they do about Tuesday. :/

    (I mean really, sociopathy? Do you even know the Hare checklist? People are too quick to throw that word around.)

    1. Same for PTSD – it’s not a blanket term. But hey, in the everyday usage by the laymen, sociopathy describes certain sort of behaviour, rather than the personality disorder itself.

  21. It’s Tylenol that will absolutely trash your liver even at accidental doses, especially with alcohol or alcoholics, but an aspirin overdose is not pretty, either. Really high levels of aspirin will uncouple the respiration in your cells and cause hyperthermia (and coma, and seizures, and CV collapse, and eventually death.) An attention-seeking, half-hearted suicide attempt is not necessarily a fake suicide attempt.

  22. I’m a big guy (like Mose) and for me a potentially lethal dose would be 150 pills or so. In contrast, 20 Tylenol would probably do it… apap is evil, asa is mildly naughty.

  23. I love how she says “I was on the phone with her FOREVER”, and then a minute later admits the call only lasted ten minutes.

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