Chapter 5: Lit, page 59.

Chapter 5: Lit, page 59.


THAT kind of fake.

By the way guys, a big pile of orders is shipping Tuesday, and there are still great Black Friday/Cyber Monday deals in the Iron Circus Comics store! $5.00 shirts, $10.00 books, $3.00 patches, and more. Grab something now and it goes out tomorrow afternoon.

Discussion (88)¬

  1. Linners says:

    “I won’t LET anyone like Curio!”

    I love how Tuesday has NO IDEA how to deal with a suicidal person. This was drilled into my head as a 10th grader- You call 911, goddamnit! Yes, you try to stay in contact with the person, but emergency services will have a better idea of what to do to help them.

    God, she is dumb. She’s definitely not as smart as she gives herself credit for, that’s for sure.

    • EatBooks says:

      *takes notes*

    • Hanna says:

      Yeah, well, considering how Tuesday’s probably from a family of the high-end society, given the references in the comic so far, I think that in her world it’s up to other people to take care of things, unless those things call her own cell number. I wonder if someone eventually did call 911 for Curio or not.

      • t3h fake says:

        I don’t follow this logic. You’re saying that Tuesday is rich and spoiled and that therefore she gets everyone else to solve all her problems… so instead of just confirming your prejudices she does the opposite and tries to solve the problem on her own. And that somehow that makes her even worse? PARADOX I wonder what she could have done you would approve of besides go back in time and fix whatever unhappy childhood crap you are venting about.

        • Hanna says:

          She basically just talked Curio into getting help. She didn’t get Curio help. Because, hey, after talking to an emotionally unstable friend enough to fill her friendship quota, Curio became someone else’s problem.

          Oh, and I wouldn’t approve of anything Tuesday does, if I could avoid it. :-P

    • Rabbit says:

      “This was drilled into my head as a 10th grader” – I think your education was more complete than most people’s. I just found out one of my online friends tried to ‘fake suicide’ in the same way Curio did. Ate pills, called some people. And NONE OF THEM dialed 911.

  2. pinglederry says:


    Moze, I love you. In a non-physical, affectionate sense, that is. :) Never change.

    And yeah, that’s about as fake of a suicide attempt as it could be while still being an actual attempt (she did, after all, really swallow the asprin). That kind of thing makes it so much harder for everybody else in a bad situation. It’s clear Curio does need help (and that Tuesday might, kind of, have a sideways sort of point about Moze’s situation), but I’m not sure if there’s anything a professional could do for her.

    • Artemis says:

      I was wondering if she really did swallow all that aspirin, though. How could she have called eight other people after Tuesday and lived?

      • Hanna says:

        Without checking any sources, I remember that aspirin makes you more likely to bleed – can cause internal bleeding, or bleeding from a cut or similar, but it’s not the thing itself that’ll kill you, unlike with sedatives (especially sedatives + alcohol).

        • Regular Polyhedra says:

          More likely to do damage to internal organs than kill you, yeah. Maybe give you an ulcer.

        • Slothrop, T. says:

          Aspirin thins the blood. A whole bottle of it can be deadly. Death from aspirin overdose is most commonly due to cardiopulmonary arrest as a result of pulmonary edema but the list of conditions resulting from its toxicity is no short nor pleasant list. As has been said somewhere, “There must be a better way!”

  3. CatOfEvilGenius says:

    Oh, zing! I’m sure Mose wasn’t trying to zing Tuesday with that comment, but I do wonder how upset she’ll get.

    So the aspirin incident was in high school, and yet Tuesday continues to hang out with Curio, when they’re not arguing. Why???

    • tricksterson says:

      There’s a passage from Peter Pan that this reminds me of, that Hook envies Smee because Smee has good form without knowing he has it. This is the same kind of envy I now feel for Moze. He delivered a killer shot without ever intending it or probably even knowing he did.

  4. CatOfEvilGenius says:

    What is that Mose is scrap booking there? An afterlife shopping list, like his uncle Shep made?

    • Pearle says:

      I’m pretty sure that’s the remnants from Uncle’s scrapbooking. Go figure he’d use porno mags to show what he wants in the afterlife.

  5. Mary says:

    Whoooooo, dang.

    Also, Moze is pretty hilarious in a way. I have to say I like him for his honesty, if nothing else.

  6. Longtail says:

    Heh, this is what I like about Mose. I like how he sticks up for Curio, even while Tuesday’s flippin’.

  7. batneko says:

    Took me a couple readings, but… Ten minutes is not “forever.” XD

  8. Na No Da says:

    Now I really wonder what was written in that letter to Moze ’cause Tuesday is really coming from left field with the whole Curio thing.

    • WhoTookThatty says:

      “You don’t know ANYTHING about her at ALL. You just THINK you do. And it is so obvious that that is a THING you do.”
      Says Curio, while holding the letter. Which is from a girl that Moze has never met in person, but he assumes is alright with the arranged marriage.
      She is relating the way that Moze assumes the best about people.
      Of course, Curio isn’t the best way to show this idea, I suppose. I don’t think someone who knows her even slightly would be too surprised about her doing something like this.

      Still loving how Tuesday’s example isn’t the best. I mean, she just went on about how Curio’s life wasn’t very nice. Guh! The NERVE of Curio being irrational and acting out for the sake of getting help and sympathy. What a ~*~*~*PHONY~*~**~, right guys?
      Tuesday. So terrible. Kinda hope she never changes.

    • EatBooks says:

      Think back to the beginning of the scene where Tuesday was checking her phone messages and listened to a drunk Curio complaining about her. She’s still thinking about that.

    • MGreen says:

      I think it’s mostly just that Tuesday doesn’t care about the letter, she’s just thinking about Moze and Curio.

  9. Kitsune says:

    If I recall, they are cleaning up his Uncle Shep’s apartment. They aren’t at Moze’s at all. These are the remnants of *Shep’s* afterlife scrap book. Raunch-Monger? HA!

  10. “She said yes.” That’s Moze in a nutshell everybody!

  11. sophistre says:

    Oh, Moze. This is the best thing you have ever done.

    And god forbid you should have to talk to your potentially suicidal friend for a whole *ten minutes*, Tuesday.

  12. Erin says:

    I have never loved Moze more than I do right now.

    Well, in a totally platonic-like-I-love-my-creepy-uncle-because-he-freaks-everyone-else-out-more-than-me sort of way.

  13. architeuthys says:

    I was wondering why the pictures were cut out of the porno mags… Then I remembered Shep’s folder. Haha. Nice little reverse Chekhov’s Gun there.

  14. Spafoom says:

    Curio is making me sad :( This isn’t supposed to happen.
    I think she just wanted to see if anyone would notice/pick up the phone/care, as it seems that she didn’t have many friends.
    She probably would’ve fallowed through with it if nobody did.
    Also Moze is awesome the end.

  15. Ganurath says:

    …Is it me, or is Tuesday a raving narcissist? She seems utterly unable to grasp someone having a different point of view.

  16. Fafnir13 says:

    Is the title of that magazine “Vroom Boom Cars?” Please say it is.
    Raunch Monger ain’t bad either.

  17. CM says:

    Does Tuesday ever not have a hideous expression on her face? I think the ugliness inside of her is readily apparent.

  18. AlmostLiterally says:

    Oh, Moze….Oh, Tuesday.

  19. Geigernaut says:

    Tuesday’s such a tightly wound ball of self interest that you’d need an icepick to get someone else’s point of view into her skull. She doesn’t see the pain that Curio was going through that caused her to act out in a cry for help, she just feels that Curio bothered her, took up her time and tried to make her feel bad with her personal shit. I think she is a borderline sociopath. Self serving and completely lacking empathy. I betcha a beer Moze see’s something good in her though. He’s awesome like that.

  20. lokabrenna says:

    You know what, despite Moze being a fat hairy pervert?

    I’d say yes too. What a guy.

    • Tetrominon says:

      That’s not fat, it’s SOLID CHARISMA.

    • Hanna says:

      I don’t think he’s pervert. More like what most guys really are but pretend not to be.

      • John says:

        Uh, no. I wouldn’t call Moze a pervert, either (his 11-year-old betrothed notwithstanding, I haven’t seen anything that would suggest that his tastes are weirder than mere lack of standards), but as someone with the inside perspective on being a guy rather than the sexist stereotype, I can say that he’s not just more open about it; he actually is a much bigger horndog than I’ve ever been. There are women I find attractive, women I don’t find attractive, women I find actually unattractive, women I wouldn’t fuck with someone else’s dick. Moze, from what we’ve seen, has two categories: Women who’ve said ‘yes’, and women who he’s still trying to convince to say ‘yes’.

  21. entropomorphic says:

    Will the Sincerists make Moze an honorary member? They should.
    ‘Cept he’s way too chill to hang out with them.

  22. Cat says:


  23. norm says:

    You bet against Moze’s dick, you gonna lose! :D

  24. C. Mage says:

    I can’t help it, I see Tuesday in the last two panels and I keep thinking, “For fuck’s SAKE, girl, EAT something. The ABC’s of health aren’t Anorexia, Bulimia and Constant activity.”

  25. Crawlerette says:

    Well aren’t you a ball of sunshine and happiness yourself, Tues. :\

  26. Kat says:

    I love how Tuesday says that she was on the phone “like forever omg” and then admits it was about ten minutes. Ten minutes is a pretty quick pick-me-up call, imo.

    A buddy of my brother’s tried this on him once. She showed up at his work saying she’d eaten a bottle of Tylenol and a had bottle of vodka or something. He made her sit down and he called an ambulance. Bonuses: she actually did end up getting help and she never pulled that trick again. /csb

    • Malex says:

      I dunno… I would imagine (purely speculative here) that 10 minutes could actually feel like forever if you’re convinced that your friend (or whatever) is in danger of dying if you can’t convince them to get help. Particularly in hindsight if they go on to milk it with several other people.

      Tuesday is terrible, but I don’t think she’s as terrible as many of you are saying. Everyone in Templar is deeply damaged but stilling trying to be okay people.

      And Reverse Chekov’s Gun is my new favorite literary term.

      • A.Beth says:

        Especially 10 minutes when you’re in, what, high school and probably don’t have half a clue what you should _say_ in a situation like this, and may or may not be sure if the person is actually even telling the truth or if they’re going to bust out laughing at you and go “April Fool’s!” or something.

        That would feel like forever to me, too.

  27. JLeavitt says:

    See this is what I like about Spike’s writer (and it’s a good writing tip in general)

    Every exchange does heavy lifting. Every line of dialogue either moves the plot or further establishes character. Look at what we’ve learned on this page.

    Curio: Still unstable! Still a vortex of attention! In some kind of crazy hate me-look at me relationship with Tuesday, the perfect audience to her drama.
    Tuesday: Has been friends with Curio a long time. Flies into wild hatestorms! Is warning Moze about people but hey look at that, Curio’s Problem is All About Tuesday. God they deserve each other.
    Moze: Assumes the best about people. Fucked Curio! Will fuck anything!

    all of that in six panels.

  28. JLeavitt says:

    Spike’s WRITING. God that’s an awful typo. Sorry.

  29. Pluramon says:

    Considering Tuesday’s sick oneupmanship with Curio and Nicky, am I the only one that thinks that she’s catalyzing her feelings about Curio’s call and the discovery of his wife into a little jealousy-hate-ball? Something like, “I don’t care about this fat hairy slob but I cannot BELIEVE he cares about someone that’s not me.” ? It’d be a pretty psychotic reaction to the aforementioned things, but…yeah.

  30. Brad says:

    God damn, I shudder at Moze’s definition of “okay”. He’s a lovable teddy bear on the outside, but on the inside, he just sees women as walking vaginas.

    • Sulcharae says:

      I don’t know if he really views women as walking vaginas, i think he’s an opportunist. He clearly cares about Mere, and seems to have a broad, hedonistic love of life. He loves ladies, he loves having sex with ladies. That seems to be the only difference in the way he treats anyone – everyone’s pretty much okay and equal, and if you’re a lady you’re also a possible sex partner. Nothing about what he has done or said seems to communicate any disrespect.

      • tricksterson says:

        Yeah, I pretty much get the impression that he was born in a state of mind that most people have to smoke enomous amounts of top grade weed to achieve.

    • MM says:

      Eh, I don’t think he’d be paying even this much attention to Tuesday’s rant or focused on how smart his ‘betrothed’ is instead of how long before she’s legal if he couldn’t think beyond that – insofar as he can think beyond, anyway. And I think Curio would’ve been “okay” with him even if she’d said “no.” Tuesday’s the one who insisted on tying sex to the opinion.

      • WhoTookThatty says:

        Moze just loves sex and happens to be a heterosexual.
        If he saw all women as walking vaginas, then he probably wouldn’t be so respectful, albeit in his own way.

  31. Pearle says:

    Any chance we’ll see a Xenophage t-shirt? I dunno about other people, but I’d like to see, “Morally Indefensible Cuisine” on a tee.

  32. Drooling Fan Girl says:

    The thing is you can get very sick by taking too much aspirin.

    • Sarah says:

      That informs this story. It says that you may babble irrationally, get confused and hallucinate. It sounds as though it would be tough to convince anyone suffering aspirin poisoning to take a logical course of action like calling 911, let alone a lonely neurotic teen.

      • Hanna says:

        Well, yeah, but I’m assuming she called Tuesday before the tablets even had a chance of being melted down in her stomach. Also, the gripe is now more on Tuesday for not calling 911 on Curio’s behalf, especially once Curio was off the phone with her.

  33. Ivan the Terrible Poster says:

    ahahaha shep’s desk

  34. The Woot says:

    Raunch-Monger. Why is this not a real magazine!?

    Loving Moze in this storyline.

  35. Chris says:

    “By the way guys, a big pile of orders is shipping Tuesday,”

    But i don’t want Tuesday, she’s ugly!

  36. AlmostLiterally says:

    You know, I don’t think Tuesday is as bad as people are making her out to be. Like what EatBooks said, she still has what Curio said on her mind. She’s selfish, yes, but sociopathic? I think that’s pushing it.

    I think those guys are much worse than Tuesday.

  37. Maritza says:

    “The same reason as you. No standards.” :P

  38. pyano says:

    I think people’s opinions about Tuesday say more about them than they do about Tuesday. :/

    (I mean really, sociopathy? Do you even know the Hare checklist? People are too quick to throw that word around.)

    • Hanna says:

      Same for PTSD – it’s not a blanket term. But hey, in the everyday usage by the laymen, sociopathy describes certain sort of behaviour, rather than the personality disorder itself.

  39. Matthew says:

    Given what an acute aspirin overdose can do to the liver, Curio’s drunk-dial is a lot more troubling.

  40. Gwen says:

    It’s Tylenol that will absolutely trash your liver even at accidental doses, especially with alcohol or alcoholics, but an aspirin overdose is not pretty, either. Really high levels of aspirin will uncouple the respiration in your cells and cause hyperthermia (and coma, and seizures, and CV collapse, and eventually death.) An attention-seeking, half-hearted suicide attempt is not necessarily a fake suicide attempt.

  41. Bob says:

    I’m a big guy (like Mose) and for me a potentially lethal dose would be 150 pills or so. In contrast, 20 Tylenol would probably do it… apap is evil, asa is mildly naughty.

  42. Chris W. says:

    I love how she says “I was on the phone with her FOREVER”, and then a minute later admits the call only lasted ten minutes.