Intermission: Employee Appreciation, page 6

Last page, guys.

No, Morgan doesn’t write. But she’s knows someone who can.

And that’s it for Chapter 4. I’ll start the book pre-order in a few days! The incentives will be rockin’. Coming up: Chapter 5.

Most of the cast is going to wish it never happened, but I am in charge around here. So there.

38 thoughts on “Intermission: Employee Appreciation, page 6”

  1. Ah, the healing powers of commerce.

    Seriously, that’s a nice asking price for one’s principles, especially in today’s market.

      1. A Rough (and Unfunny) Draft, perhaps?

        Tip #1: Touring the city is only an awesome date if you don’t spend the whole afternoon talking about the busty lady you did it with first.

        Tip #2: Please, PLEASE do not accidentally run into said busty lady.

        Tip #3: IF she shows up, try to distract her with alcohol be fore she RUINS EVERYTHING.

        Tip #4: Okay so that didn’t work OH GOD SHE JUST PULLED A DILDO OUT OF HER PURSE RUN AWAY

        Tip #5: Assuming your date miraculously hasn’t left yet, use your boyish charms/copious drinking to somehow magically entice her back to your flat (at this point, the sooner it’s over, the better)

        Tip #6: Try not to have a mental breakdown mid-coitus. You won’t get that second date.

        Tip #7: Seriously, get the door fixed. Neighborkid does not need to see you goin’ at it with some random lady/dude.

        Tip# 8: The next morning, do not accidentally feed your date your meds for breakfast.

        Tip #9: Your eating habits are disgusting oh my god no do not fix him/her breakfast, your cooking is the opposite of sexy.

        Tip #10: If these tips haven’t helped and it’s a day later and there’s a stranger in your kitchen STILL, your date’s probably a licensed professional in which case you get to go on a second date! To the bank!

  2. I. Love. Morgan. So. MUCH.

    This is exactly what I would have done in her shoes. Yee haw, indeed XD

    And Merry Christmas, Spike!

  3. So Morgan’s going to try to get Ben to write her “NebrASSka” column, he’s going to have to do research with Reagan, who will lactate pure joy. (I think Reagan’s personality is basically what you’d get if a vampire fed on the embarrassment of others instead of blood.)

    Then Ben and Morgan are working together, trying to midwesternize the esoteric practices Reagan described, and the power goes out so they’re working by candle light, one thing leads to another…


  4. To be fair, we’re not sure yet how much a dollar is actually worth on Earth-sub-Spike. Though if $50 is bargain basement for a POS firearm that’s almost as likely to kill you as your intended murderee…it can’t be *too* different from here-and-now.

    I *would* like to see Ben and Morgan get together. Which means it probably won’t happen. :(

  5. For those listening at home, and already dreaming of your BenXMorgan stories, just remember, that when she first introduced Morgan, Spike described her as one of the most important characters in the story.

  6. I don’t see a Bergan paring, honestly. I don’t see any pairings beyond Reagan and Scip and even that’s a little far fetched. I mean, if there were any pairings I doubt she’d make it as obvious as it sometimes is in other stories. Spike is too good for such obvious exploitation.

    Also, the title SHOULD be Cornhusker. Because if you say it in a dirty way, it fits. Try it! Or your money back!

    1. Also, Morgan is going to be pretty much trying to steal from Ben. Even if Ben is completely informed about the pay and such this idea could go horribly, horribly wrong.

      1. …Or, of course, Ben and Morgan could get caught in the middle of a bidding war between Pangaea and half a dozen other papers/magazines/etc later, for rights to the story Ben inevitably writes about whatever is about to happen to/in his apartment complex.

        It’d be relevant, and trendy, and local, yet still something they couldn’t be expected to do anything concrete about. What better quasi-news story for a hipster rag?

        There’s a lot of ways for this to go wrong, but Ben’s getting sufficiently inured to madness that it could go well, too. You know, eventually. Kinda.

      2. What? No. Nothing implies she’s gonna steal from him–it’s much more likely that since she’s already asked him to write for the magazine, she’ll try to share the column with him and split the profits. True, his name probably won’t be on it, but hey, a buck twenty five a word!

        1. That’s what I meant by “steal”, although I realize that it is a harsh word to apply to this situation. Maybe I’ll just refer to it as “consensual plagiarism” from now on.

          1. Pretty sure the official term is “ghostwrite” and people do it all the time. Especially with big name book series that have like a gajillion books supposedly by the same author.

  7. I might read “NebrASSka” or “Pornhusker”… but I just love Morgan’s expression in the last panel, when she realizes how she can make money out of this. If you gotta sell your principles, the price ought to be good. ;-D

  8. Ha, so you left keenspot…….well you are in good company, Shlock Mercenary, Sinfest, Errant Story, etc. did it…….and hey, lets face it. You have had the most original thing on keenspot for awhile now. I hope Templar AZ. only continues to grow and become more popular.

  9. Sadly enough, people who come from rural areas really are treated like this sometimes. Maybe not to such an extreme, but it gets fairly ridiculous at times. I’ve been asked a few questions by ‘city folk’ that I assumed were jokes at first only to find, in horror, that they were serious. Of course, it never ceases to amuse me that, every few years, a ‘city folk’ comes down to my neck of the woods and gets seriously injured because they decided to try cow tipping.

  10. For a dollar twenty-five a word I’d bullshit my way through epic amounts of whatever folksy stuff they want. Sell-out? Maybe. Poor college student is more accurate.
    …And oh man would I have some ‘Naughty Nebraska’ stories. People talk loudly around you when you aren’t a big deal in High School. In a small ‘city’, there really is nothing better to do than drugs, booze, and each other. And walmart…mixed in with any/all of those three.

  11. I have a feeling that Morgan x Ben won’t happen / work out, which sucks, because I really want them to get together…that probably isn’t helping the chances though…

  12. In one corner we have “freckles” Morgan, flat-stater, suspected clueless hillbilly. And in the other corner the local favorite, the Big City Twit Trio.

    The trio opens up with a spread-beam classic condescension combo, but Morgan deftly deflects with a determined dismissal. Unyielding to the relentless assault, Morgan finally falls for the “New job” feint and begins actively listening to the Twits. It’s a devastating mistake and you hate to see it, but the Twits are merciless. Morgan’s down, covering her face cringing in compassion, and the Twits just keep hitting the same weak point.

    Morgan must be asking herself if it’s time to look for a new job when the Twits finally stick their chin out too far, making a sizable monetary offer. Morgan’s already counting her winnings, wrapped in a bubble of protective preoccupation that renders the Twits’ further attacks ineffective. We have a winner in this conversation, and the Twits don’t even realize they have lost.

  13. Heck, I’d write anything anyone asked of me for a dollar a word. I’d write Gordon’s Cookbook of 1001 Things to do with your Dismembered Mom and How to Trick your Victims into Eating Them. I’d even write an endorsement for the Republican party.

  14. $1.25 a word is killer good for piece-work. Hell, I started writing westerns because Louis L’amour Western Magazine paid a dime a word, back in the day…

  15. for a buck 50 a word i’ll write like a crazy right wing bible thumper straight from pensylbama (the area between pitsburg and philly is called pensylbama because people believe it or not have a southern accent there)

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