82 thoughts on “Intermission: Employee Appreciation, page 5”

  1. Shooting spree. Jesus, kill them or have the Jakes come in. It’s making my own ginger roots steam. Or have her go off on them, Please….

  2. Where do people like this come from? If you’re going to rag on another state or country, at least go there first so you can learn how to do it right.

    P.S. Anyone know any good Pennsylvania jokes? They’re so hard to come by.

    1. Being in Nebraska for a while(And most states) I think she should smite those who think a Mid West state is folksy lore.

    2. Philly in the east, Pittsburgh in the west, and Alabama in the middle. (by the way, I’m from State College. Guess where that is?)

    3. Don’t know any for Pennsylvania, but you know why all the trees in Iowa lean to the north?

      It’s because Minnesota sucks.


      Actually, it’s because Iowa blows.

      1. I live in Europe, but I have relatives in Minnesota. *thwacks you with a silly putty bat*

        Although I gotta admit your jokes made me giggle… I’m going to steal them. :-P

        1. That’s the good thing about those particular jokes, they’re easy to repurpose. ^-^ Reduce, reuse, recycle! Good for the environment. :D

    4. Pennsylvania jokes, huh?

      Q: What’s the difference between pennsylvania and yogurt?
      A: Yogurt has an active culture.

      Q: Name the four seasons in PA
      A: Winter, Still Winter, Flooding, and Road Work.

      Uh… not good, but PA related, yes.

  3. i was always (actually, not in a tacky joke kind of way) fond of uranus cause it’s blue, made of clouds and has a horizontal axis of rotation.
    also, i live in california and i can get pretty damn folksy. last summer i made apple crisp outside in a dutch oven with a friend of mine for funsies. could’ve used the apples from the local honor till farm stand, but i forgot before i drove over the mountain.

  4. She gave network permission. To the receptionist. Um.

    Yeah, all I have left is,

    Holy CATS, they’re dumb.

    (That, and a morbid fascination with what the hell do THEY do at the mag then??)

    1. Well, considering that two of the most famous TV shows in the strip so far are about two people who seem to be exhibitionists to the extreme, as well as more or less unhinged, these people sound EXACTLY like the type of folks that would write for Pandorea.

  5. morgan if you are not literally writing about corn irl 24/7 you are not actually from nebraska, ok


    morgan are you listening to me

    god damn it morgan

      1. I’ve actually read more than a few very funny scifi short stories on that idea… too bad I don’t remember the writers’ names. :-(

  6. My goodness. I don’t blame her for getting a little steamed, there.
    It’s nice that she’s so polite, though. I’d say she ought to cut them down, but diarrhea doesn’t slice.

  7. @Ivan: but of course spacebillies can tell you all about death pressure and the Lagrangian point, and make you a mean batch o shine. boy howdy!

    1. Y’know, I bet you could distill alcohol using the boiling and freezing effects of hard vacuum.

      And I love Morgan more every time she appears.

      1. Daniel Keys Mouran has a book series where people on moon colonies (their ethnicity is “loonies”) illegally import a brand called “Good Beer” to earth (UEAF hates those dirty space fairers). From the descriptions I’d guess it’s Red Stripe +1.

        1. Interesting…was that before Heinlein wrote The Moon is a Harsh Mistress? Because he called the moon colonists “loonies” too.

      2. I been around a few seasons, y’all, and if there’s one thing I done learned, it’s that you won’t make escape velocity if you done drank all your rocket fuel

        (R.I.P Dale E. Jessup may angels sing thee to thy rest)

  8. ‘Folksy’? Are we talking iconic redneck folksy or ‘folk music’ folksy? There’s a LOAD of a difference.

    Iconic redneck folksy requires you to wear overalls and a straw hat all the time, shoes optional.

    Folk music folksy is anything from below the Mason-Dixon line… which as far as I know Nebraska ain’t.

    Midwest doesn’t really identify as a ‘folksy’ location to me…

    …but then again, I’m just about as Southern as you can get. (And no, that don’t mean Texas. Look at which of the Continental States is lowest on the map. Here’s a hint, we got oranges, oranges, oranges, and cows. Also old people.)

    I live in the hometown of the Swamp Cabbage Festival, wherein people pay eight bucks a pop to eat deep-fried cabbage palm tree heart. I gotcher ‘Folksy’ right HEAR.

    (BTW, first time reader blah blah platitudes, but seriously, does it get annoying doing Morgan’s freckles meticulously, making sure to get the correct number? Or do you just go Jackson Pollack and arbitrarily stab dots onto her face until you’re satisfied that she’s ‘freckled’ and not just ‘got somethin’ on yah right there’? Either way, big ups for having a true freckled character in your comic. There’s ‘someone with freckles’, and there’s ‘a freckled person’, and very few distinguish the two. As a card-carrying member of the latter, it’s nice to see my people getting recognition after all these long years… if only this blasted farmer’s tan from work would just fade back away so I actually look the part.)


        1. In Virginia folks are guaranteed to be methheads. Folksy wisdom isn’t especially worth hearing and consists of a lot of threats and cursing.

    1. Well AvA to be honest florida ain’ really all that folksy, least not on on the south end. Down here we’re mostly Cuban refugees, it’s really only the North part and keys where ya English speakin’ types live. I’d say Texas is more folksy.

      1. Depends on where you go in Texas. If you stick to bigger cities (DFW, Austin, Houston, San Antone, etc.), you can generally interact with non-folksy people, depending on where you go. Smaller towns (and Lord knows we have a lot of them), yeah, you’ll find some folksy wisdom. Just stop in at the Dairy Queen off the only street with a stoplight on it. Be careful, though – odds are that street is the highway you’ve been blasting down at 80mph and has cops lined up to catch you when the speed limit does a quick-drop to 35.

        And FARRRMS

        (I keep saying that out loud every time I see it – it’s hilarious)

  9. Hey, could someone point me to the other cartoons where Morgan has appeared? I’m having a hard time keeping track of all these characters from day to day.

  10. I love Saturn too. There’s lots to love. But everyone loves Saturn. Saturn is the pretty one. Wanting to write about Saturn is like wanting to write about Florence. It’s an interesting topic, but you aren’t the only one who wants to write about it.

    My cousin has a Saturn tattoo. I’d like a Saturn tattoo too but I can’t because now IT’S BEEN DONE.

  11. Good lord and the sad thing is the fact that there are people like that. I’m a born and bred Texan, with the accent and everything, and people do this ALL THE TIME! Its so irritating that ya just wanna beat em like a mule. T_T

    1. Where are you that people react like that? Born and bred myself, haven’t left the state yet.

      Turns of phrase like “beat ’em like a mule” might have something to do with it, though. :)

  12. I get it! Pandorea is one of those slick, fake copybooks that Reagan was ranting about. It makes perfect sense that in a world where copybooks are a widespread phenomenon, everyone’s innermost banalities are considered fodder for entertainment. When that mindeset is filtered through shallow, pretentious people like the Pandorea staffers there, this is what happens.

    1. No, Pandorea is a magazine. It’s been referred to before. Copybooks are things that people write and get published cheaply – copypaper stabled together, as far as I can tell.

      1. My impression of copybooks are like chapbooks (or chatbooks, depending on who you talk to) in poetry. Or at least I know it as a poetry thing, for all I know it might be a local New England thing. Either way, they’re a bunch of 8.5x11s folded in half and stapled along the crease. VERRRRY cheap to do.

      2. http://templaraz.com/?p=88

        Based on the staffers’ dialouge, Pandorea is one of the “shiny magazine-lookin’ rags” that Reagan refers to. A “fake” copybook, if you will.

        However, my point was actually in the rest of what I said. The staffers aren’t snotty bitches. They’re just shallow and clueless. “Folksy wisdom” is their commercial version of a 26-page treatise on breakfast. (Not breakfast in general, what the author had for breakfast that morning.) In order to preserve the authenticity of the art, of course they want do everything they can to keep Heather from becoming “citified”. They’re not horrible, they’re helping.

  13. See, I wouldn’t read “Cornhusker”. But I would totally subscribe for “How I Feel About Saturn”.

    Or, really, “Omigod Farrrrms”. Because that sounds like a series written by one of these loonies, exiled to Ruraltania (actually a rather nice mixed-economy small town with local farmers still in evidence, but they won’t notice). The schadenfreude potential is enormous (Omigod did you know lettuce comes out of DIRT? I’ve been eating DIRT! -yeah, I know, everyone knows that, but bets that these people somehow *don’t*?)
    Also: yay, hilarious teeny reaction panel!

  14. Wow, yeah, stereotypes really don’t workk well in the real world high writers. I live on a farm and also like space and I am incredibly NOT folksy! Like, at all!
    I do, however, husk corn at times. >.>
    Plus I have been to both Minnesota and Pennsylvania and I can seriously not think of any good jokes, except maybe about mosquitos…


    Seriously, I’ve lived in New Jersey for the majority of my life, the Governor needs to tell the Amish that they’re not supposed to have cars for a reason. >:I

  16. I’m southern? I’m from Texas, but I’m at the border to Mexico. I’m so southern that I speak a little spanish. I’d speak a lot of spanish but my mama stopped speaking to me in spanish when my daddy up an’ left her for dat lady of the night in the blue house near what was to be my high school and fathered many babies. :O

    Does this make m folksy? No, this makes me the child of a stupid man. Yes…I am ashamed. If these people talked to me this way, I wouldn’t even be responding. I’d just be recording every single word they said and then leave sound bites every place they frequented to show people just how stupid they are. Thus revenge is achieved with little headaches. Because the more she speaks, the more they speak. And I don’t want them to talk anymore -.-

  17. Spike, I just want to say that “You can see space from Nebraska” is the line that makes this page for me. I am amused anew every time I read it.

    1. I bet there are cool people, they just don’t happen to be these idiots.
      I’m waiting for a middle aged perfectly composed older manager/editor woman to walk into this scene.

  18. I honestly didn’t think that they were high. I thought that these three were just genuine jerks, but the ‘OMIGOD FARRRRMS’ did it in for me.

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