Chapter 5: Lit, page 126.

Chapter 5: Lit, page 126.


hey guy

guy who’s skull i just caved in

you with the concussion

do a brah a solid, willyaz

Discussion (118)¬

  1. ._. says:

    Hahahahaha. Fucking classic Thug.

  2. JL says:

    Oh god Elliot you are the stupidest thing ever

  3. Scott Bieser says:

    Take that third door on your right. It’s the stairs. Go UP the stairs all the way to the top. Go through the little door, close your eyes, and walk straight ahead. It should take you about 12 paces to find the up-step, and after that it’s stairs again all the way down to the basement. Trust me, you’ll get there quickly after that.

  4. Scott Bieser says:

    I hope EJ finds the Jakes. Watching them fuck up each other’s shit would make me smile real big.

  5. Mordant Carnival says:

    EJ you are a barmpot. What are you like.

  6. Twiggy says:

    I’d say EJ needs a serious beating but he doesn’t seem like he’d learn anything from it.

    • Peter says:

      You have to give him a good beating, a good hard beating so it took.

      Also, I support the “running into jakes” idea. Or better yet, having Ray walk in on them right now

    • Beezus says:

      I kind of got the sense that a lot of EJ’s problem is too many people thought a good solid beating would fix him up. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t know how to find basements?

  7. Jen Aside says:

    Is this the one that had you giggling nonstop?

    ’cause I’m giggling nonstop XD XD XD XD XD XD XD

  8. Thomas Maher says:

    The last time I recieved a solid headshot (from an errant golf ball), getting up was followed by waves of nausea, and it lasted a while too. It’ll be interesting to see what Spike does to Ben.

  9. Sv. Rogue says:

    Bleeding from the head

  10. Phil Spector hairclub for men says:

    After EJ gets the info he then savagely clubs Ben to death.

  11. There’s a lot of blood in a head.

    …A lot of blood.

    • Jakob says:

      Sure is. Last time i got a notable head wound, the jacket i had been wearing was ruined and my hair took a lot of showering to get clean again. The wound originated from a thrown rock the size of my fist that hit the top of my head.

  12. Wood says:

    EJ, the basement is usually DOWNSTAIRS, dude !

  13. Cyanmanta says:

    So it was Bash’s place they were looking for. That being the case, I can think of at least one way he could have gotten in without assaulting anyone…

    Given that he’s too clueless to find the basement on his own, though, I can understand why he chose this method.

  14. Jamly says:

    EJ is like a trainwreck that nevers stops.

    Poor Ben.

  15. T.C.R.M says:

    E.J. had better that the Jake don’t find, Ray doesn’t catch him, he doesn’t wake Bash up, because in a fight I’d bet on the old man, and even if he beats him, any noise is likely to bring the Jake down on him, and most of all the Scipio doesn’t find Ben, because if Scipio finds Ben, he will get angry, and if Scipio gets angry, he will WANT to hurt E.J., and if Scipio hurts E.J. with the intent and desire to do so, well… you have to wonder whether a man can recover from something like that.

  16. Jason Thorn says:

    What was it Sunny said?

    “Get him by himself and sell what’s left by the pound?”

    • C. Mage says:

      Please, please, PLEASE, Spike. All I want for Christmas is to have Reagan AND Scip show up, and then just as EJ is beaten to a pulp, have Marcus come down to see what the commotion is.

      • Meretrix says:

        As delicious as that would be, I’m kind of wondering whether Dr. Bash will prove to be quite the push-over that the Elliots seem to assume he’ll be….

  17. Ziggy Stardust says:

    This page. This is the best page! Seriously it’s hilarious.
    Dude EJ I don’t think he’s gonna tell you where the basement is. Maybe you should ask someone else dude.

  18. Nate says:

    Hey, EJ, I think you beat it out of him. Maybe he’ll remember if you hit him again :O

  19. Kaze says:

    Ben is very polite to people who have hardly earned. that being as it may I’d murder a dude who stole my art supplies. (there’s some one some where with my old wacom that is lucky i don’t know him)

    • FrankNW says:

      You’re so right. Theft can be a problem. It’s interesting, though, how much of a deluded loser a person has to be to steal from others, rather than just getting ahead by the usual and appropriate means.

      • tEd:P says:

        Not to defend anything about EJ, but this generalization is a little strong: He is indefensible precisely because he gives more thoughtful and better-motivated criminals a bad name.

  20. Dart says:


    Forget the Jakes, please let him run into Reagan.

  21. tEd:P says:

    The watched pot never boils, and Spike has never failed to fake us out, so now he’s gonna live forever. >:(

  22. Slothrop, T. says:

    EJ is about as bright as a nightlight with a burnt-out bulb. What does that say about Marcus? I’ll bet dirt could think circles around him. Not to mention dirt probably has a way better attitude.

  23. PreludeInZ says:

    Is it irony I’m detecting around the fact that EJ told Biggs (or Biggs made the assumption) that EJ was going to go find a guy who’d want to have sex with him…and, well, he’s looking for Dr. Bash.

  24. Redo19 says:

    This is all going to turn out to be a hilarious misunderstanding.

  25. Casey says:

    He didn’t even TRY to find the basement on his own!

  26. Roy Clarke, cross dresser says:

    I mean, really, why all this acrimony pointed EJ’s way? Man’s gotta eat, man’s gotta take care of his father-figure, and Ben was a ripe tomato just waiting to be plucked. If anything this will be a valuable lesson for our would-be everyman; granted he doesn’t have any serious brain damage. C’mon, guys, quit attempting to apply your morality to someone who’s been too long in the sun and supine on the asphalt with a sheet of night over his face. And besides, rash actions bring about the best drama. God bless you, you crazy sociopathic diamond, just stay the hell away from me.

  27. bbullock says:

    Kinda hoping Ben flies off the deep end (he’s shown some barely-held-in-check temper, before), and EJ tries to use the gun and it blows up in his hand.
    And THEN the Jakes find him.

  28. So he bashed Ben for smack and he’s going to smack Dr. Bash too.

    But then again, Dr. Bash might just give him the money in exchange for some love.

  29. Lentilstew says:

    Any Jake’s gonna recognize that shitty gun poking out of EJ’s waistband. Doesn’t even need to be the one who can pick him out of a lineup.

  30. Bellar says:

    This is all going to turn out to be an elaborate Super Mario Bros. reference, with EJ as Bowser, Ben as Princess Toadstool, and Hypatia as Mario.

  31. Ms. Williams says:

    Sweet Lord. XD Sweet, sweet, Lord what an airhead.

    • C. Mage says:

      He’s not an airhead. Airhead at least have AIR between their ears.

      EJ has a singularity inside his head. If EJ got a sizable enough head injury, half of AZ would be sucked into his skull.

      • Ms. Williams says:

        Nah, still an airhead to me. If you’ve got directions in your hand, can’t follow ‘em, and decide to ask the dude you just clocked in the head then that’s pretty much the definition of an airhead/dumbass/whatevs the kids are callin’ ‘em these days.

  32. Disgruntled_girl says:

    I think we’re about to see what “terrible things” he did that made him “not a nice person”.
    He gonna Hulk out on EJ.

  33. Night-Gaunt says:

    Head wounds like that bleed alot but aren’t necessarily as bad as it looks. Unless there is head trauma and he was unconscious which means his brain got rattled in its skull. Now that is serious. He needs medical care—NOW.

  34. Yobar says:

    I’m starting to jones for a new page.

    • Bellar says:

      I’m starting to biggs for a new page, if you know what I mean.

      Because Biggs is a junkie.
      And he’s in withdrawal.
      Nothing recent.


      • tEd:P says:

        Same here. I’m starting to resent how effectively Intermittent Reinforcement compels me to come back here every day, even if only to re-read the comments…

  35. Yobar says:

    EJ’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes, like a doll’s eyes.

  36. Thomas Maher says:

    A thought: EJ has the envelope right up in his face. I thought he was smelling it the first time I saw the drawing (a while ago, yes?). But now I think maybe Spike is inferring he’s nearsighted, and maybe badly?

  37. Metaldude says:

    Is the comic on hiatus or something? It’s been nearly a month since the last update.

  38. Hanna says:

    Neeeeeed moooooore coooooomiiiiiiic….. I’d rather have 1 update per week than 3 updates one week and then 1-2 months’ break from updates. Yes, I’m addicted to Templarverse. =p

    • mivox says:

      YES. I have comics I check once a week, because that’s when they update… as opposed to the MUST CHECK EVERY DAY conditioned response/irregular reward thing I have going on here. :-(

      (At the very least, the top of the page shouldn’t really say M-W-F, no?)

      • Hanna says:

        A lot of the webcomic artists I follow have had to scale back from their original update schedule – from “7 days per week” to “5 days a week”, from “Tues & Thu” to “Thu only”, etc. And if they can’t update the comic for whatever reason, they usually put up SOMETHING along with an explanation/apology.

        • mivox says:

          Yup, exactly. If 3 days a week is too much, a less frequent regular schedule works fine. Not like us fans aren’t crazy loyal around here…

    • FrankNW says:

      Hi, everyone. (Ahem.) I’m Frank, I’m a Spike-oholic — what? Templaroholic? — okay, well, I’ve had it for a short while now. I can’t believe how easily I got hooked. I’m going through a healthy process, tho’, and my sponsor says he’s pleased with me…that’s a good thing. XD

    • FrankNW says:

      (Singing quietly under his breath) Ain’t nothin’ but a good thang….

  39. enjoymoreradio says:

    Jonezin for a new page.

  40. Night-Gaunt says:

    If new pages aren’t ready some behind the scenes pages would be nice. Notes. Back ground information etc.

  41. FrankNW says:

    So much good stuff going on. Glad if we could see more.

  42. Rebecca says:

    I mean, no pressure man, but I’m ready to see where this goes. I’m jonesin’ to find out who’s gonna save Ben’s ass, and I feel like an addict when I check this site twice a day. Please stop the withdrawals. Again, no pressure. But seriously there’s a little bit of pressure.

  43. Filthy Pazuzu says:

    I think M. W. F. means More Waitin’, Folks.

    C’mon Spike, we’re really missing TAZ! This is my favorite comic to live vicariously through.

  44. Jonboy says:

    Deadish comic. :(

  45. coyoteweeps says:

    Mrrrph. What happened to “Be back Monday, guys!”? Love ya Spike…you know I do…but if EJ doesn’t move soon, I’m not gonna be able to resist my ever-growing urge to kick him square in the jimmies. Just sayin… ;p

  46. SJ Gilbert says:

    I’m really terrified that the comic is gone for good. Granted, I understand if Spike’s got some irons in the fire but I just wanted to say that this comic is one of my favorite things ever. I hope she continues at some point.

  47. Bellar says:

    I wonder what game it is that Spike is playing…

  48. Ginkage says:

    Good lord, people. I know you’re jonesing for your comic fix, but artists have lives to that don’t always revolve around their comics. :P

  49. C. Mage says:

    Me, I wouldn’t mind a change of comic, and not just because I want to see the story to progress.

    I just really don’t like watching TJ be that much of a dick without suitably gory consequences.

    Just sayin’.