Chapter 5: Lit, page 126.


hey guy

guy who’s skull i just caved in

you with the concussion

do a brah a solid, willyaz

118 thoughts on “Chapter 5: Lit, page 126.”

  1. Take that third door on your right. It’s the stairs. Go UP the stairs all the way to the top. Go through the little door, close your eyes, and walk straight ahead. It should take you about 12 paces to find the up-step, and after that it’s stairs again all the way down to the basement. Trust me, you’ll get there quickly after that.

    1. You have to give him a good beating, a good hard beating so it took.

      Also, I support the “running into jakes” idea. Or better yet, having Ray walk in on them right now

    2. I kind of got the sense that a lot of EJ’s problem is too many people thought a good solid beating would fix him up. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t know how to find basements?

        1. Glad I’m not him. Truly, truly not my idea of fun. ‘Sides which, EJ’s not having to take all his food through a straw (at least not yet), so maybe there’s time for a little more, uh, discipline.

  2. The last time I recieved a solid headshot (from an errant golf ball), getting up was followed by waves of nausea, and it lasted a while too. It’ll be interesting to see what Spike does to Ben.

      1. Now, there ya go. Nice, neat, tidy, has a little bit of post-post-post-modernism to it…I kinda like it. Not that it doesn’t have a certain angst about it, but ain’t that what sells these days?

    1. Sure is. Last time i got a notable head wound, the jacket i had been wearing was ruined and my hair took a lot of showering to get clean again. The wound originated from a thrown rock the size of my fist that hit the top of my head.

  3. So it was Bash’s place they were looking for. That being the case, I can think of at least one way he could have gotten in without assaulting anyone…

    Given that he’s too clueless to find the basement on his own, though, I can understand why he chose this method.

  4. E.J. had better that the Jake don’t find, Ray doesn’t catch him, he doesn’t wake Bash up, because in a fight I’d bet on the old man, and even if he beats him, any noise is likely to bring the Jake down on him, and most of all the Scipio doesn’t find Ben, because if Scipio finds Ben, he will get angry, and if Scipio gets angry, he will WANT to hurt E.J., and if Scipio hurts E.J. with the intent and desire to do so, well… you have to wonder whether a man can recover from something like that.

      1. That’s right! I almost forgot, he really oughta save the last dance for Rayray. Now, THAT, my friends, would be a kewl tango. …Or maybe lambada. …Whatever. (VIVA!)

    1. Please, please, PLEASE, Spike. All I want for Christmas is to have Reagan AND Scip show up, and then just as EJ is beaten to a pulp, have Marcus come down to see what the commotion is.

      1. As delicious as that would be, I’m kind of wondering whether Dr. Bash will prove to be quite the push-over that the Elliots seem to assume he’ll be….

        1. Yes! Marcus…”Oh, my…now that REALLY, really wasn’t nice, you guys. …I’m cereal. …I’m super-cereal.” (Sorry. My mind went to South Park for a moment there.)

  5. This page. This is the best page! Seriously it’s hilarious.
    Dude EJ I don’t think he’s gonna tell you where the basement is. Maybe you should ask someone else dude.

  6. Ben is very polite to people who have hardly earned. that being as it may I’d murder a dude who stole my art supplies. (there’s some one some where with my old wacom that is lucky i don’t know him)

    1. You’re so right. Theft can be a problem. It’s interesting, though, how much of a deluded loser a person has to be to steal from others, rather than just getting ahead by the usual and appropriate means.

      1. Not to defend anything about EJ, but this generalization is a little strong: He is indefensible precisely because he gives more thoughtful and better-motivated criminals a bad name.

  7. EJ is about as bright as a nightlight with a burnt-out bulb. What does that say about Marcus? I’ll bet dirt could think circles around him. Not to mention dirt probably has a way better attitude.

  8. Is it irony I’m detecting around the fact that EJ told Biggs (or Biggs made the assumption) that EJ was going to go find a guy who’d want to have sex with him…and, well, he’s looking for Dr. Bash.

  9. I mean, really, why all this acrimony pointed EJ’s way? Man’s gotta eat, man’s gotta take care of his father-figure, and Ben was a ripe tomato just waiting to be plucked. If anything this will be a valuable lesson for our would-be everyman; granted he doesn’t have any serious brain damage. C’mon, guys, quit attempting to apply your morality to someone who’s been too long in the sun and supine on the asphalt with a sheet of night over his face. And besides, rash actions bring about the best drama. God bless you, you crazy sociopathic diamond, just stay the hell away from me.

  10. Kinda hoping Ben flies off the deep end (he’s shown some barely-held-in-check temper, before), and EJ tries to use the gun and it blows up in his hand.
    And THEN the Jakes find him.

  11. This is all going to turn out to be an elaborate Super Mario Bros. reference, with EJ as Bowser, Ben as Princess Toadstool, and Hypatia as Mario.

      1. (By the way, my comment regarding MIB had nothing to do with any social issues surrounding the word “black”. …Please. No one’s gonna keep me away from any MLK meeting if I wanna go, and if I don’t like any particular movie, that’s also my business. Get used to it.)

    1. He’s not an airhead. Airhead at least have AIR between their ears.

      EJ has a singularity inside his head. If EJ got a sizable enough head injury, half of AZ would be sucked into his skull.

      1. Nah, still an airhead to me. If you’ve got directions in your hand, can’t follow ’em, and decide to ask the dude you just clocked in the head then that’s pretty much the definition of an airhead/dumbass/whatevs the kids are callin’ ’em these days.

  12. I think we’re about to see what “terrible things” he did that made him “not a nice person”.
    He gonna Hulk out on EJ.

  13. Head wounds like that bleed alot but aren’t necessarily as bad as it looks. Unless there is head trauma and he was unconscious which means his brain got rattled in its skull. Now that is serious. He needs medical care—NOW.

    1. I’m starting to biggs for a new page, if you know what I mean.

      Because Biggs is a junkie.
      And he’s in withdrawal.
      Nothing recent.


      1. Same here. I’m starting to resent how effectively Intermittent Reinforcement compels me to come back here every day, even if only to re-read the comments…

        1. Something about lab rats and food, yep, now I remember. Eventually they all died of starvation? I get enough manipulation in the rest of my life.

  14. A thought: EJ has the envelope right up in his face. I thought he was smelling it the first time I saw the drawing (a while ago, yes?). But now I think maybe Spike is inferring he’s nearsighted, and maybe badly?

  15. Neeeeeed moooooore coooooomiiiiiiic….. I’d rather have 1 update per week than 3 updates one week and then 1-2 months’ break from updates. Yes, I’m addicted to Templarverse. =p

    1. YES. I have comics I check once a week, because that’s when they update… as opposed to the MUST CHECK EVERY DAY conditioned response/irregular reward thing I have going on here. :-(

      (At the very least, the top of the page shouldn’t really say M-W-F, no?)

      1. A lot of the webcomic artists I follow have had to scale back from their original update schedule – from “7 days per week” to “5 days a week”, from “Tues & Thu” to “Thu only”, etc. And if they can’t update the comic for whatever reason, they usually put up SOMETHING along with an explanation/apology.

        1. Yup, exactly. If 3 days a week is too much, a less frequent regular schedule works fine. Not like us fans aren’t crazy loyal around here…

    2. Hi, everyone. (Ahem.) I’m Frank, I’m a Spike-oholic — what? Templaroholic? — okay, well, I’ve had it for a short while now. I can’t believe how easily I got hooked. I’m going through a healthy process, tho’, and my sponsor says he’s pleased with me…that’s a good thing. XD

        1. Twitter and me so not on friendly terms. Hence I have trouble understanding the “feed” on the page – it looks like random stuff from random people.

  16. I mean, no pressure man, but I’m ready to see where this goes. I’m jonesin’ to find out who’s gonna save Ben’s ass, and I feel like an addict when I check this site twice a day. Please stop the withdrawals. Again, no pressure. But seriously there’s a little bit of pressure.

  17. I think M. W. F. means More Waitin’, Folks.

    C’mon Spike, we’re really missing TAZ! This is my favorite comic to live vicariously through.

    1. Eh, I don’t think this is (yet) the longest wait on TAZ, but _some_ update, even a silly doodle, would be nice. (I have a couple of comics that have been on hold for 1-2 years that I still check monthly. :-P)

  18. Mrrrph. What happened to “Be back Monday, guys!”? Love ya Spike…you know I do…but if EJ doesn’t move soon, I’m not gonna be able to resist my ever-growing urge to kick him square in the jimmies. Just sayin… ;p

  19. I’m really terrified that the comic is gone for good. Granted, I understand if Spike’s got some irons in the fire but I just wanted to say that this comic is one of my favorite things ever. I hope she continues at some point.

    1. Dragon Age 2 maybe? I know I didn’t hear much from my friend for a month or so after she installed it. (And I haven’t dared to install mine, until I have a week free from all other obligations. =p)

  20. Good lord, people. I know you’re jonesing for your comic fix, but artists have lives to that don’t always revolve around their comics. :P

  21. Me, I wouldn’t mind a change of comic, and not just because I want to see the story to progress.

    I just really don’t like watching TJ be that much of a dick without suitably gory consequences.

    Just sayin’.

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