Chapter 5: Lit, page 99.

That last line would have been best spoken in front of a Gothic window, with a dead tree’s branches scraping the panes and lightning flashing in the distance on the moors.

51 thoughts on “Chapter 5: Lit, page 99.”

    1. …Rereading that has caused me to realize that the Elliots, before crashing at the wet house, crashed at the CIRCASSIAN. And they were kicked out by Reclamation during an Intermission, right? If they try to slip back in and get stuck up in the conflict, maybe some media attention… Oh, there is going to be FUN.

      1. Nah, the EJ is off turning tricks and Biggs is sitting in Veritas. Either that or Biggs got his fix and they’re off to Dr. Bash’s apartment.

  1. Gahhh… I’m sorry, but naked Tuesday is always a disturbing image to me. You don’t see women like her in porn; you see them in movies depicting the victims of war atrocities.

    I thought Orpha’s disgusted frown was pretty scary, but her scheming face is just disturbing. I would think nothing of her scowling at me, but if Orpha ever smiled at me like that, I think I’d leave the country.

    1. Naked Tuesday = creepier than the Creature of the Black Lagoon. There’s lean, thin and then her. I wonder if she’s anorectic or has a similar defensible condition, or whether she just malnourishes herself for the shock value?

      1. I’ve had to be naked on stage for a role. Trust me, when you have an audience of people you know will be judging your bod, you can be as skinny as her and still feel huge.

        Thanks, society.


          Seriously, it needs much to creep me out, but you managed it.

        1. “I don’t like vegetables or that stuff, so I just drink yoohoo, eat white bread, and wear brown pants” is a condition, or a state, and it’s best defense, as I’ve heard said, is “meh.”

        2. Indefensible condition = nothing medically wrong or mentally unstable. I really can’t imagine Tuesday counting as mentally unstable (well, less than many people in this comic), so it’d fall on “medically wrong” category with her. As in, hormonal imbalance or similar. Unless she was sexually abused by a close family member (which would put her in the mentally unstable category), I can’t think of (m)any reasons for her to starve herself thusly, unless it was for the creep factor.

          1. She might not be starving herself. One of my favorite things about Templar is the wide range of body types. Just like in real life!

      2. I hear Tuesday was on vacation in Hawaii the first time someone publicly citicized her physical condition as “unhealthy”, and so she was so pissed, she took the next fax back to Templar.

    2. Being unreasonably thin catches ones eye, causes reaction, and with combination of lithe graceful movements, nudity, and simultaneous social commentary can maintain that reaction in much the way Nicky works in his crippling narcissism, strange word choice, and ridiculous outfits. Besides, being thin is one hell of easier than trying to work toward any sort of athletic or natural ideal. You just intake less energy than you use and it all slowly melts away with the growling of your guts and as the days go by even that starts to feel nice.

      1. Tuesday’s body makes me shiver in revulsion. Somebody please get this woman some butter before she blows away.

      2. I suspect she was chubby when younger, but years and years of cutting remarks from her mother have given her eating disorders their own eating disorders.

    3. haha hey guys let’s do some body-policing bullshit that’s ok right haha what a skinny bitch haha she should just go eat a sandwich mirite???

  2. Is the 2.6/10 rating given by Nicky? At least at the top of the magazine page it says “Nicky C sez:” which to me reads “Nicky Collision says:” and then the “I hate Mondays” is the article title. If it indeed is Nicky rating his competitor’s show, the rating might not be entirely truthful.

    Also I’m now wondering if there’s anyone in Templar (who was born there) that doesn’t have relatives with some shady dealings with the Doves. Is there another mob in the town or is it just them? (Rec doesn’t count.) What do we know of Tuesday’s background? That she comes from a well-do family, has strong opinions and little tolerance to other people’s BS, and is horrified by the thought of child marriage by proxy. :-P

  3. Orpha reminds me of my mother.

    My mother has had 10 kids with 8 different fathers to try and sponge money out of each one. She schemes a lot. And generally, everyone hates her. This includes me. Unlike my mother, Orpha actually seems to enjoy some degree of success.

    So I hate my mother more now for screwing it all up even. This comic teaches me new ways to loathe people! Very enjoyable! Hehehehehehehehe.

    1. Falling for someone like Orpha has the all-too-common consequence of falling so far, you hit bottom at some point.

    1. Ah, answered my own question! The Black Mariahs were (are?) the all-female pimps who used to run the prostitution racket in Templar until the “red laws” and Doves came around. They also set up the Wet Houses.

      Tuesday is not a fan.

      1. Orpha = Tuesday when she’s old. Or that’s what came to my mind at least. Don’t know about the whole whoring thing, but I could definitely see the old Tuesday with the same sort of scheming, won’t-give-an-inch attitude.

  4. “Enemy of my enemy is my friend” isn’t how you start a war. It’s what you do to further instigate a long, protracted passive-aggressive era of an arms race with many, many wars spinning off of it. Like how a Storm system will spawn a dozen tornadoes as it drudges across the midwest.

    Or the Cold War.

    Either way, this is gonna be ugly as hell and fun to watch. :D

    1. Such is only the case if the weapons you are using are decidedly final, but neither the whores or the renovators have much in the way of nukes and have plenty of outspoken supporters and at the least bitter detractors that would support either if a true clash arose. No this is exactly the kind of situation that starts a war, for it is small and lets people build their own vendettas from a collection of small stupid events.

      1. “but neither the whores or the renovators have much in the way of nukes” — AS FAR AS WE KNOW. I still want to know what caused those statues outside to appear melted. A nuclear blast could do that sort of damage. (And might count for the decidedly unhealthy environment with dust storms and whatnot.) So far we’ve received no evidence of radiation, unless you count the “there’s something seriously wrong with all these people” thing. :-P

  5. And now we come to it at last. No one takes that much pleasure at the idea of going to war over something if it wasn’t the fact that waging and winning the war was more desirable than the reason why the war started to begin with.

    Orpha just wants to pick a fight.

  6. Spike, this is awesome. TAZ is one of my favorite comics, and I get so sad when I don’t get my fix. Having these daily updates has been amazing, and seeing what you can crank out in just one day is an inspiration to me to put some restrictions on my own internet use. Excelsior!

    1. Determinedly neutral in this particular conflict, not neccesarily in all things. We know that he’s opinionated against Tuesday, as well as Jakeskin. Of course, he knows the latter as the crazy people that rolled up on some homeless folks, but once a name gets out…

    2. Nicky’s not so much neutral as he is very very much pro-Nicky and anti everything else. If it can’t benefit him, he’ll snark at it no matter what it is; the doves, Reclamation, Tuesday, whatever.

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