Chapter 5: Lit, page 87.

Chapter 5: Lit, page 87.

Orpha is that woman who goes to the restaurant and specifically requests tepid sparkling water and then tries to get you fired if the water is warm because waaaarm is NOT tepid, DEAR.

Discussion (53)¬

  1. JL says:

    Orpha is a horrible person.

    We were’t even testing for that.

  2. JL says:

    Also both look like they went on a blind grabbing spree through a OUTFITS OF OLD JAPAN exhibition.

  3. Lee says:

    That’s a good slogan.

  4. Crissy says:

    You say “Now, a horrible person”, like we weren’t expecting it. I, for one, was definitely expecting it, because that is how most people are in Templar…horrible, in one way or another. =D Which is what makes Templar SO REALISTIC. <3

  5. Sulucamas says:

    That’s one hell of a billboard! Wonder what it’s blocking…

  6. Ilp says:

    I’m going to read every line this woman says in the voice of Malory Archer.

  7. Kathleen says:

    Who is Orpha again? One of the Doves?

  8. Kysec says:

    Do we get to see her tub of virgin blood next?!


  9. Rendigo says:

    i really like the subtle imagery of reclamation as a means of salvation, particularly the gear halo :V

    • AJ says:

      Agreed. I especially like that it feels somewhat organic. It’s not polished, but there are certain aspects that were *definitely* planned (like the gear halo).

      Although I wonder if they remember what happened to the last guy who kept getting a halo slapped on him…

      • Rendigo says:

        Well if we’re interpreting Barney John as a christ figure, it does not bode well in the least

        • Narbodi says:

          He’ll be fine.

          Can’t crucify a man with only one arm to nail. Although if it’s the prostitutes that do it, maybe they’ll flip him over and use his feet instead.

          Jockstrap of Thorns.

  10. Mary says:

    Jesus on a stick with ketchup. I have met people like that. I think we all have. And maybe we didn’t all lapse into profanity, but I’m sure we all wanted to.

  11. Pearle says:

    Tepid. You keep using zat word. I don’t zink it means what you zink it means.
    (It means moderately warm.)

    Guessing this other person is Zebulon.

    • Kysec says:

      Could be. Other choices include bodyguard/right hand, lawyer, and butch voice-of-reason girlfriend….

  12. RocksForJocks says:

    HELPLESS with SCREAMS indeed

  13. Calandra says:

    So, Orpha is basically my great aunt?

  14. KimmQuinn says:

    I’m a waitress so from your description I am now convinced that Orpha is a horrible person.

  15. Jerry says:

    The blight oh my dear god the BLIGHT.

  16. joelle says:

    Wow. I LOVE THIS PAGE. I LOVE Orpha’s mannerisms. The second panel is so rich. Spike, you are an AMAZING artist. This is so awesome!!!

  17. AlmostLiterally says:

    On the other side of things, I like her right hand man.

  18. norm says:

    Barney’s gonna hate that sign – bet he helps Orpha torch it. Reluctant messiah, that guy. Hmm, wonder if Biggs is ever gonna tell us how he lost the arm.

  19. SJ says:

    Everything else is quite, quite good.

    But that hand. Perfection.

    • Kysec says:

      My god, you’re right! I just tried out that pose with my hand, and immediately I felt the entitled superiority surging through me….

  20. Hanna says:

    I know someone like her… wish she moved to Arizona, too. XD

  21. Wolfsdottir says:

    I don’t think the billboard is blocking anything (except maybe her view over her self-perceived “domain”. It’s a slap in her face that she has to look at from her balcony.

    • Buckybone says:

      Looks to me like the Reclamation is gonna try to “reclaim” The Oarlock, and Orpha will call in every favor she has to stop it (not that it’ll work). The billboard’s just a territory marker.

  22. Ivan the Terrible Poster says:

    That kid with the blowtorch is makin’ me nervous

    Sorta feel like that picture was made back when Barney still had his arm

    • Kysec says:

      See, and I figured they deliberately hid the hand to downplay all of his physical imperfections.

      Y’know, in fine tradition of propagandist iconography….

  23. Angfdz says:

    I like Orpha.

  24. VoidHamlet says:

    Orpha? Orpha?! That has got to be the next best simile after Obama & Osama.

  25. Elfling says:

    I *love* her face. The way you drew it gives me a nails-on-chalkboard feeling thinking about how she must be pronouncing Ev-er-y syl-la-ble.

  26. tricksterson says:

    She reminds me of the Gloria Swanson character from Sunset Boulevard. You know, if she was a whore instead of an actress.

  27. D. Walker says:

    I can just imagine the thoughts going through the minds of the people she complains to.

    “So the madame of a entire coalition of prostitutes wants a billboard promoting building renovation and repurposing taken down on grounds of civic beautification. Wow. That’s the first semi-sane request we’ve had all week in this department!”


    • Hanna says:

      Well, this being Templar, that sort of thing probably IS from the sanest end of the spectrum… and come to think of it, most of the whores probably are prettier than Barney & co. so her beautification tangent would work. At least as long as they kept the Zeus in drag (or whatever he was named in the comments) away from sight. XD

  28. Corneliat says:

    I think she’s my new favorite :3

  29. Kayna says:

    Does…does Orpha have a cape? I mean given the rest of her outfit, I wouldn’t be surprised but really? That says a lot about her personality actually.

  30. Bryy says:

    Orpha is the collective internets?

  31. Nic says:

    Has anyone else noticed that Barney is holding that hammer backwards?

    I mean, it doesn’t really matter since he’s ostensibly holding it for a photo shoot, but if he changed the position of his arm, the claw side would be facing downward and the head would be facing upward.

    Which I guess makes sense if he intends on pulling nails out of something, but, I don’t know, it struck me as odd. Usually propaganda pieces use hammers as imagery for strength, power, striking something – not pulling something apart.

    (Or, if that billboard isn’t a photo, maybe the artist of the billboard doesn’t know much about how hammers work.)

    • Mount says:

      He’s just holding it up so the dude with the blowtorch can get to his underarms to scorch off the pit hair.

  32. Lady Jenn says:

    Y’know, I’ve been arrested for grinding the faces of people like her off pavement before (mostly relations)……. Maybe I should move to Templar. I hate her that much already. Not that I like the Reclamation people much better (Barnabas is okay, the rest are nutty zealots), but it’s a case of zero versus negative ten, you know?

  33. Jason Thorn says:

    Personally, I’m getting an odd vibe from that poster. If anyone’s familiar with the game BIOSHOCK, I’m thinking of Barney as the anti-Andrew Ryan.

    Hmmm…Spike, is there a ruin of an underwater city in the North Atlantic in your world?