Chapter 4: Trouble Every Day, page 87

Chapter 4: Trouble Every Day, page 87

I have been waiting to give EJ the line of dialog in panel four for weeks.

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Discussion (68)¬

  1. Chris says:


  2. Owen says:

    EJ really has no sense of self-preservation whatsoever, does he?

  3. Aw no! Gordon is soooo going to try to fire that gun to show how it doesn’t work!

    Or something like that.

    • Emma says:

      I’d say “And maybe he’ll shoot EJ”, but I actaully don’t hate EJ as much as everyone else. I’d hate to know him in real life, but he amuses me as a character. If I had to choose a Templar character to die, I’d choose Nicky.

  4. SassaFrassa says:

    Gordon is a pretty smooth guy. ‘Spite both Elliots freaking the hell out, he just sits there.
    Or not, but still. I like it.

    • Pattom says:

      I got the impression that such a traumatic childhood has left Gordon with only two emotional states: robotic indifference, and Tasmanian Devil-style rage. The fact that E.J. at his most infantile barely registers to him should be a sign that when he DOES get angry, limbs start flying.

  5. Jonboy says:

    Gordon’s calm as fuck. What say he’s gonna put the junk gun to is own/Elliotts heads and pull the trigger it to prove his point?

  6. maritza says:

    Really nice work on Biggs’ expression on the last panel. He really DOES look desperate.

  7. Furious Sterling says:

    Oh no, what’s he gonna do to show that the gun’s a piece of junk? Also, goddamn EJ, just sit down and shut up for a minute, you’ll live longer.

  8. Lurklen says:

    I think he might just throw it in the trash.

  9. t3h fake says:

    It’s a jake gun. I’m guessing hes gonna stab someone with it.

  10. mivox says:

    ZOMG … Please, Gordon, PLEASE kick EJ’s ass? Pretty please with sugar on top?

  11. viper says:

    it seems like EJ is just mad at everything and everyone at all times o.0
    whiny little bitch needs to get his head punched in <_< all he does is swear and yell.

  12. Ariadne says:

    Heheh. Biggs and EJ are so totally Bert and Ernie. No one not sleeping together would put up with the shit they get from the other. (Did that sentence make sense outside my head? Hmm.)

    • Hanna says:

      It does make sense. :-P
      And I would kinda have to agree, except I doubt EJ – despite his big talk – has ever had sex. He couldn’t even get a whore.

    • Twilytgardnfaery says:

      Took me a second, but I got it. I dunno if I agree with it, but there has to be something pretty serious there, that part I won’t argue.

  13. Fafnir13 says:

    It’s the only recourse he knows. I find it more sad than anything else.

  14. Erica says:

    Um … I get the impression it’s worthless not cuz it won’t fire, but cuz the Jakes will hunt down and exterminate anyone associated with the transaction.
    ‘Member how they were barely escaping from Jakes kins before on accounta EJ?
    Ready to move on from EJ – I know people like that often live for years, but this is a fantasy world, right?

  15. DanteLives says:

    I’ve just had an epiphany. Next to EJ and his tantrums *any* character looks sympathetic. I’m starting to like Gordon. Probably because of how calm he is and how he ignores EJ.

    Now, I wonder what would happen if we got EJ and Sunny in the same room . . .

  16. CitrusFreak says:

    My only question is, does this mean Gordon has an Australian accent? I always read Reagan’s lines with a southernish accent until one ustream session I learned that she apparently talks like an old-time New Yawkah (But I still read it like I always have).

    So now I want to know if Gordon should sound Australian or not.

    Apparently these things are important to me. I don’t know why.

  17. Cyanmanta says:

    The more idiotic EJ’s outbursts get, the more I want to know what the hell happened to him to make him this way. This isn’t garden-variety, cruising-for-a-bruising obnoxious; I think he acts like this because he’s very defensive and frightened, as if he thinks the world is out to get him and he has to strike preemptively. I WANT to know what happened to this kid…

    That’s not to say an ass-kicking might not be in order for him, but no matter how I look at him, I honestly can’t say I hate EJ.

  18. mivox says:

    The irony being the only damn reason everyone’s out to get him is because he’s such a rude, delusional, obnoxious, useless @hole. I’ve met people who act like that, but only when they’re reeeaaallly drunk.

  19. Michelle says:

    BITCHES DON’T KNOW ABOUT MY GROWN MAN ANGST. (he is a grown man, isn’t he?)

    • Cyanmanta says:

      Boy, is that the million-dollar question. His age seems so ambiguous, especially with the missing eyebrows and the fact that his outbursts are so much like a dumb teenager’s.

  20. Roknese says:

    EJ makes me not even want to read the comic till the entire thing is over. i hope to god someone finds his worthless self dead somewhere unfortunately filthy in a manner that will make most puke and make me giggle.

  21. thetruth says:

    Everyone apparently hates EJ but that is one of the single greatest lines of dialog ever.

    I love that through this entire situation the thing that Gordon has found most interesting is the fact that they’re both named Elliot.

  22. Owen says:

    The number of comments about how much people hate EJ has to be a testament to your character writing, Spike.

    • The Joker says:

      I second that. There’s this mysterious element about EJ that makes ppl here hate him almost unanimously. Whereas people are on two sides of the fence with characters like Pippi and Sunny, most everyone here wants to stab this kid in the eye. Then again, we “know” more about Pippi than we do about EJ.

      I don’t hate EJ at all, particularly because his spontaneous fits of rage aren’t alien to me at all, but it’s funny that I just don’t get people like Pippi. I thought I was a sincerist at heart but this realization (epiphany? hahaha!) has taught me that I’m more of a double-standardist. Hey Gordon, shoot me!

    • Jonboy says:

      Broadly I think its fairly good writing to craft a curious character that’s able to inspire so much dislike.. but if obnoxious behavior goes on and on without harsh consequences or at least serious opposition, I tend to lose faith in the comic (Anders loves maria is now long time dead, in my favourates graveyard).
      -Just my general observation on the notion of writing obnoxious characters.

      I dont think theres any danger of that happening here; this entire scene is still fresh off the bounce of them running for their lives, with some nice greasy anticipation of the underbelly of Templar setting EJ straight, with extreme prejudice hopefully. (Go Gordon! Woo!)

  23. Dotcom says:

    I don’t hate EJ. I actually *like* him. He took out two Jakes. He’s either really damaged or incredibly stupid or both. While it puts his life at risk, it also preserves his life as he kicks everyone’s ass. It’s an interesting contrast to Bigelow’s cowardice.

    • Hanna says:

      He hasn’t taken out any Jakes. He slapped Jackie, who could’ve knifed him down if she’d been the one with business with them, and Marcus did himself in with help from the rotten pier. I know EJ appeared to go ballistic there, but we don’t know if Biggs didn’t manage to stop him from getting them both into deeper trouble with the Jakes.

  24. Dotcom says:

    Pippi, OTOT, I can’t stand. I have known too many gals like her—tragic pasts and all. Believe me, once you’ve known someone like that you find it very difficult to feel sympathetic to them no matter what they’ve been through. Still, I’d find it wild if Pippi and EJ hooked up and had unstoppable crazy, angry babies.

    • Roknese says:

      never, EVER say that again. two people in the series that i wish were drown at birth, i do not want them ever to be near each other.

      this comic is great, but the ambient intelligence of the crew is that of a pet rock, with the exception of maybe 2 characters, everyones dumb as beans. we dont need MORE stupidity.

      • Twilytgardnfaery says:

        I don’t think that’s fair to say. Ambient level of common sense, or perhaps level of self-preservation, sure, but I don’t think, for most of them, that it’s a genuine lack of intelligence.

      • Dotcom says:

        B-but….you don’t want to see angry rageful Pippi x EJ babies? Awe, come-on. Now you know Spike will have to hook them up!!! :P

        Maybe I’ll write a fan fiction about it just for fun. :)

  25. The Final Warden says:

    I think Pippi is a bit obnoxious in the same way that EJ is, they both refuse to grow up but at least EJ has the willingness to survive even if he is an idiot. Pippi is more parasitic then him. I like Gorden more now that they have him speaking more, at first he seemed a space cadet, now I see it was just a calm focus. I am still waiting for Biggs to finally get fed up with EJ and abandon him. I know they have a sort of symbiotic relationship but it seems EJ is straining it further and further with his outbursts.

    • Dotcom says:

      I don’t think Biggs CAN abandon EJ—even if he wanted to. That aside, I think he’d be dead without him. Biggs is such a coward and while he’s a little smarter not to shoot off his mouth, he still manages to get himself in deadly situations. EJ is sort of like his guard dog.

  26. Linners says:

    Hmmm. I just read Of Mice and Men, and the Elliots’ dynamic reminds me a lot of Lennie and George. A lot a lot. Is that intentional, I wonder?

  27. NCallahan says:

    EJ. EJ. I know you’re fictional, EJ, but listen, EJ. Let the potential psychopath talk, EJ.

  28. Dora says:

    Love the comic – and congratulations on Poorcraft taking off, Spike! You’re tremendously talented, and you deserve all your good fortune.

  29. Jason Thorn says:

    I think (HOPE) that Gord-o’s going to practice a little Darwinist natural selection on EJ, thus making Templar a better place for all.

  30. Matt says:

    Based on this, is anyone else re-examining the circumstances of Gordon’s introduction? I’d guess, based on his history, Reagan’s assessment of his behavior at Kingdom Come might be a little off. Possibly she was being a little too generous, but in any case it’s probably a little more complex than just getting off on terrorizing the girls at the counter; at the very least, it’s evident his desire for a firearm was real.

    • Hanna says:

      Except I don’t understand why someone else wouldn’t by the gun and then sell it to him. It can’t be that difficult to get one, especially if he knows people. Besides, he was trying to _sell_ Biggs’ loot, not keep it.

    • Dotcom says:

      Oh, snap! That’s who Gordon is! I knew I recognized him from somewhere. If Regan talked him down, he may not be as scary as he appears.

  31. t3h fake says:

    Lol at the cheesy people wishing for a spectacularly violent end to certain characters. Groupthink at work.

    • KaDa says:

      same opinion =/= groupthink.

      • t3h fake says:

        I meant risky shift not groupthink. They both apply here though. The people who dont hate EJ aren’t saying anything because of groupthink. The people who dislike EJ are getting more extreme in their veiws because of risky shift. Yes I just learned these two words, so if I’m still using them wrong I apologize.

    • Thatty says:

      First time I’ve seen someone use “cheesy” to describe angry (not really angry, but I can’t think of a better way to describe it) people.
      And hey, a character that is widely hated is in a room full of weapons with someone who is absolutely insane. The aforementioned insane person is also holding a gun. A gun that doesn’t work, but still. AND the hated character is provoking the crazy one. People are going to fantasize a little bit.

      • Twilytgardnfaery says:

        Frankly, we don’t know for sure that the gun doesn’t work. Could be that he doesn’t want it ’cause it’s Jake, could be it stabs rather than firing ’cause it’s Jake, could be it’ll blow up… we don’t know yet.

  32. Hanna says:

    I have for a long time hoped that EJ runs across some serious dykes who will strap him down and gangbang his ass with the biggest dildos they can get from Kingdom Come. It wouldn’t make EJ any less abrasive, but it’d serve him right. His attitude needs adjusting, even if I agree with another poster that it’s probably more of EJ turning fear to rage than anything else.

  33. sisterscientist says:


    Possibly also spit.

    (sorry sorry been thinking of that stupid meme since this page was first posted sorry)

  34. Bendable says:

    I’m more betting that he points it at himself to prove the point. The calm experiment on themselves.

  35. Agent Kaypar says:

    I dunno, now that Gordon is carrying on a conversation like a sane and rational human, he doesn’t seem all that bad. Is it too much to hope he’s just misunderstood?

  36. Jay says:

    Oh, that’s just awesome! Ej’s line in panel four is a phrase my friends and I use all the time, though with a different expletive. It’s interesting to see it here, plus his expression is perfect for it!

  37. Kendra says:

    Does anyone else picture every line EJ says in a Riley Freeman voice?