Chapter 5: Lit, page 87.

Orpha is that woman who goes to the restaurant and specifically requests tepid sparkling water and then tries to get you fired if the water is warm because waaaarm is NOT tepid, DEAR.

53 thoughts on “Chapter 5: Lit, page 87.”

  1. You say “Now, a horrible person”, like we weren’t expecting it. I, for one, was definitely expecting it, because that is how most people are in Templar…horrible, in one way or another. =D Which is what makes Templar SO REALISTIC. <3

    1. Why not go straight to the source as Lucille Bluth? They just transplanted her entire character to that show. Typecasting, pfft.

    1. Agreed. I especially like that it feels somewhat organic. It’s not polished, but there are certain aspects that were *definitely* planned (like the gear halo).

      Although I wonder if they remember what happened to the last guy who kept getting a halo slapped on him…

        1. He’ll be fine.

          Can’t crucify a man with only one arm to nail. Although if it’s the prostitutes that do it, maybe they’ll flip him over and use his feet instead.

          Jockstrap of Thorns.

  2. Jesus on a stick with ketchup. I have met people like that. I think we all have. And maybe we didn’t all lapse into profanity, but I’m sure we all wanted to.

  3. Tepid. You keep using zat word. I don’t zink it means what you zink it means.
    (It means moderately warm.)

    Guessing this other person is Zebulon.

    1. Could be. Other choices include bodyguard/right hand, lawyer, and butch voice-of-reason girlfriend….

  4. Wow. I LOVE THIS PAGE. I LOVE Orpha’s mannerisms. The second panel is so rich. Spike, you are an AMAZING artist. This is so awesome!!!

  5. Barney’s gonna hate that sign – bet he helps Orpha torch it. Reluctant messiah, that guy. Hmm, wonder if Biggs is ever gonna tell us how he lost the arm.

    1. My god, you’re right! I just tried out that pose with my hand, and immediately I felt the entitled superiority surging through me….

      1. Yeah, but she’d be on the opposite side of the Atlantic Ocean from me. You could move here instead, then we’d both be half a world away from her. :-P

  6. I don’t think the billboard is blocking anything (except maybe her view over her self-perceived “domain”. It’s a slap in her face that she has to look at from her balcony.

    1. Looks to me like the Reclamation is gonna try to “reclaim” The Oarlock, and Orpha will call in every favor she has to stop it (not that it’ll work). The billboard’s just a territory marker.

  7. That kid with the blowtorch is makin’ me nervous

    Sorta feel like that picture was made back when Barney still had his arm

    1. See, and I figured they deliberately hid the hand to downplay all of his physical imperfections.

      Y’know, in fine tradition of propagandist iconography….

  8. I *love* her face. The way you drew it gives me a nails-on-chalkboard feeling thinking about how she must be pronouncing Ev-er-y syl-la-ble.

  9. She reminds me of the Gloria Swanson character from Sunset Boulevard. You know, if she was a whore instead of an actress.

  10. I can just imagine the thoughts going through the minds of the people she complains to.

    “So the madame of a entire coalition of prostitutes wants a billboard promoting building renovation and repurposing taken down on grounds of civic beautification. Wow. That’s the first semi-sane request we’ve had all week in this department!”

    ~D.

    1. Well, this being Templar, that sort of thing probably IS from the sanest end of the spectrum… and come to think of it, most of the whores probably are prettier than Barney & co. so her beautification tangent would work. At least as long as they kept the Zeus in drag (or whatever he was named in the comments) away from sight. XD

  11. Does…does Orpha have a cape? I mean given the rest of her outfit, I wouldn’t be surprised but really? That says a lot about her personality actually.

  12. Has anyone else noticed that Barney is holding that hammer backwards?

    I mean, it doesn’t really matter since he’s ostensibly holding it for a photo shoot, but if he changed the position of his arm, the claw side would be facing downward and the head would be facing upward.

    Which I guess makes sense if he intends on pulling nails out of something, but, I don’t know, it struck me as odd. Usually propaganda pieces use hammers as imagery for strength, power, striking something – not pulling something apart.

    (Or, if that billboard isn’t a photo, maybe the artist of the billboard doesn’t know much about how hammers work.)

  13. Y’know, I’ve been arrested for grinding the faces of people like her off pavement before (mostly relations)……. Maybe I should move to Templar. I hate her that much already. Not that I like the Reclamation people much better (Barnabas is okay, the rest are nutty zealots), but it’s a case of zero versus negative ten, you know?

  14. Personally, I’m getting an odd vibe from that poster. If anyone’s familiar with the game BIOSHOCK, I’m thinking of Barney as the anti-Andrew Ryan.

    Hmmm…Spike, is there a ruin of an underwater city in the North Atlantic in your world?

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