Intermission: Employee Appreciation, page 4

Oh, Heather Anne, we love how you’re not a dumb hick like we assumed you’d be.

By the way, can you write us some dumb hick articles for our magazine?

62 thoughts on “Intermission: Employee Appreciation, page 4”

    1. At first I thought “style guide” was a fashion thing, but now I think it’s a “this is the style/format articles must be in to be submitted” thing. Which, if she WANTS to be published, she needs to know.

      1. Any company for which you have to write stuff has a style guide, though the level of detail in house styles varies considerably.

  1. Like the “Ugh, the s**t I have to put up with…” face she’s got in the first panel. I’ve had to wear that face far too many times to be good for my mental health. Truth be told, rolling with it MAY be less troublesome than laying waste to whoever is causing you a problem…but is it REALLY WORTH IT?!

    Honestly, I don’t think I could have repressed my urge to choke people beyond “We have city lunches, they’re in restaurants” I have a hard time imagining anything more purely obnoxious someone could say.

    1. I’m not gonna lie, while it would probably be out of character for her… I would not begrudge her the moment at all if she smacked them in the teeth.

      I’ve worn that face an awful lot myself.

    2. I have to agree. I LOVE the face she is making. I would not begrudge her if she up and smacked all three of the slime balls, though it would be rather out of her character.

  2. Are these guys :

    a. completely high

    b. Just dumb and condescending

    c. Pretending to be friendly and condescending while actually thinking they’re being sarcastic.

    1. I’d rule out C. They’re completely sincere, but both A and B are still viable.

      When she says “HOLY SHIT I WOULD LOVE SOME FOLKSY WISDOM,” I totally believe her.

    1. The eyes like nipples…. I really find this true only in this last strip (I had to go back and look!). But yeah, totally something that can’t be unseen.

  3. I love love love the line “Holy shit I would LOVE somme folksy wisdom!” – possibly because she is delivering it as if it is blowing her mind.

    I think, actually, that these guys *are* on something but I suspect that it is perfectly normal for them – well, that glasses girl anyway – to be on something in the afternoon. Every day when she goes lunching she has a little pick-me-up to help her stay FOCUSED and part of the TEAM and she LOVES her job … and every night she drinks to ease the pain.

    1. I will be very surprised and a little scared if you are wrong.

      Scared, because if you are, that means her life’ll be frightens-animals-by-walking-past creepy instead, absolutely no stops at ‘vaguely unsettling’.

  4. Poor Morgan, having to deal with condescending people. I work for my campus’ newspaper, and I am glad not to have too many of these kinds of workers in my job.

      1. I think it’s probably a defensive measure that I can’t imagine the smurf in management. Lord of the Toadstool Kingdom, sure. Assistant manager, no.

  5. Second panel translation:
    “Get the hell away from me. And why are you touching my shoulder?”

    At least she has full network privileges now.

    Extra word in the last panel: “Those are the rules you you need…” Sorry to be that guy. :(

    Also, beard guy’s eyes freak me right the fuck out.

    1. “Extra word in the last panel: “Those are the rules you you need…”

      Good catch. I read it three times and never noticed. I’m sure that Spike would rather hear about that now rather than after the next book goes to print.

  6. Lav. Menace? Callin’ it now guys: Morgan is totally a Diesel player. Each of her freckles is actually a tattoo representing a man she’s KILLED.

  7. Nice to know EJ isn’t the only character I can wish nasty things to happen… those three just shot to the head of the queue to wait for execution with EJ.

  8. This attitude is what you often get in the magazine business… not all, but for a lot of mags you have to “live” the “lifestyle” of the magazine to work there. (Case in point: “Devil Wears Prada”) If these three clowns are any indication of the title they work for, I would never want to read Pandorea.

  9. “Here’s some folksy wisdom! It’s like a zen koan only, y’know all NEBRASKA an’ shit! You ready? Here goes. What did the five fingers say to the face?”


    “You enlightened yet?”


  10. I really really really want something bad to happen to all of these people. Especially the dude with the smurf hat. Can’t we have EJ assault all three of them? And I don’t mean sexually assault . . . well, yes, I do, actually.

      1. I don’t think so. As Bash noted, his daughter had an interest in the ~SCIENCES~, which spacey “holy shit folksy wisdom” girl is not striking me as.

  11. That’s true. That is how things often go in publishing. If you work in for an advertising firm it can even be worse. Never had I met so many creatively dressed people when I was doing ad design for Weight Watchers and Cover Girl… I also never met so many assholes.

  12. Given that Spike has never created a completely unlikable character, one of two things must be true about this scene:
    1) These people are drunk and/or high.
    2) We will never see these people again.

    1. See, I can’t help but see Gnome Woman as anything other than Dolores Umbridge from the Harry Potter books. But that could be because I just finished reading them last week.

  13. Hey Spike, you’ve got a spelling error.
    Last panel reads… “Those are the rules YOU YOU need to follow to get published.”
    Optically, you miss it 99 times out of 100! Great strip, positively infuriating Cities.

  14. Must… refreain from… punching… monitor!!!

    For some reason the guy and the girl remember me of characters from Dr. Seuss.

  15. I’m from Nebraska, I’ve lived most of my life in Nebraska, and this is one of the reasons I’m scared to move out of the state… I promise you, just because our cities of a half-million people aren’t as close together as your cities of a half-million people does not give us “folksy wisdom.” Also, using “city” as an adjective is SO city. Also using “lunch” as a verb. Oh wait. it’s not “city.” It’s MORONIC.

  16. “Never park yer tractor on th’ north side of a south-bound rattlesnake” “Cow milk white? Farmer’s delight. Cow milk red? Farmer stay in bed.” “Ya gotta pick th’ corn by hand, not ear.”

  17. What’s that in her inbox? Lavender Menace, it just struck me, is the best drag/performer name ever. Please let this be a person, and not a fashion article header.

  18. See, I love that at least two of these people are enthusiastically sincere. I can’t tell if the third is being all Mean Girl, or is just reaaaallly stoned. Look at those pupils!

    Actually, don’t look at those pupils. On any of them. Yipes.

    I feel compelled, as someone on an actual ranch, to come up with Folksy Wisdom now. Ummm…always shake out your boots before you put them on! Because seriously, scorpions and things.
    Also, save your bacon fat.

    I SO hope Morgan starts folksing out on them. Yeehaw!

  19. Urge to kill rising. Dalek Prime Directive(modified): destroy all irritating carbon-based life forms. EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!

  20. True story: I had a dream that Morgan concluded this encounter by stabbing one of the women in the cheek with a whistle, and then it turned out she was in the army. The intermission ended with her holding some kind of weapon and standing triumphant over the girl, clutching her face.

    …I hope she doesn’t do that, though.

    Dang it, Spike, tell your comic to get out of my subconscious.

  21. I thought Mean Girl was setting her up by giving her full network privileges. I think the other two are dippily sincere – I’ve encountered exactly that sort of gushing condescension when telling people in San Francisco that I’m from North Carolina. The ability to display ennui on demand doesn’t make you an interesting person.

    Also: I don’t remember Morgan at all. Must spend a day lovingly re-reading the archives.

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