A character-driven, long format online comic that updates three times a week. Comedy! Drama! Revolutionary Communists, runaways, creative taxidermy and more.
Where the hell is this going?
It’s true, in the Midwest there are none of these things called, Res-taurants. No indoor plumbing either.
i live in indiana.
never heard the word in my life.
Yeah, even if you’re a “city person”, you have to admit that is pretty condescending; they must be way out of it. Of course, they don’t really look like the three martini lunch types…
Is there such a thing as a three joint lunch?
Yes, but it makes you really mellow and friendly.
so they’re not in a cult. they’re just bitches.
Ahaah, it’s high school, all over again. Poor Morgan.
And it occurs to me, is she even from Nebraska? Because that almost seems like that could’ve been conjured with the “Heather Anne” name.
Actually, nevermind. I looked again at the cover page for the intermission, she really is Heather Anne.
Three Musketeers, Three Caballeros, Three Stooges… maybe these are the Three Mojitos
I wonder if Morgan is even from the country? :)
ahh, condescension. Look, Ms. Neo-Victorian-Whatever-the-Fuck, you’re in Arizona — don’t act like you can call Nebraska a flyover state as if your piddly desert escapes the definition.
and given Mr. Crazy Eyes (or Crazy Eye Novelty Glasses) Waldo and Candy Raver Punky Brewster’s ENTHUSIASM, i will throw in with the idea that these people are blasted out of what minds they may possess.
The guy in panel one looks like a Keebler elf.
Lol. “City Lunches.” How absurdly condescending.
No normal human being would use the term “city lunches.” And the last time I went for a “city lunch” it was a senior partner at a “magic circle” law firm taking my wife and I for sausages, mash, and a pint at a pub called The Edgar Wallace, not the height of sophistication. Actually I don’t know anyone successful and/or big city and/or upper class that cops an attitude like that in the strip. (Maybe Liz Jones of The Daily Mail, now playing Lady Bountiful in rustic Somerset and wondering why people shoot up her post box.) But as someone pointed out, these folks are wannabes.
The condescending nattering of these gallivanting twits aside, I am in love with the phrase “are you guys maybe drunk a little?” Can I use that?
Hohoho! They’re soooooo high on something.
And they wouldn’t even share. Office bitches. They’re the worst kind.
Spike, why are you so good at writing incredibly annoying people?!
“these city lunches have a thing you may have seen on the television, it is called a mar-tine-ey, we drink them in cities, you should totally try one!”
goddamn this reminds me of eating dinner which my stepsister’s rich boyfriend, wherein he felt the need to explain what a Nordstom’s is.
which meant me and my bio-sister immediately did the worst hick accents possible for the rest of dinner and demanded to have the concept of a car (wi’ no hoorse out front? hoo-wee how do you get it to go anywheres then?) explained to us.
I think I love you a little.
But you left out the most vital part of the story, did he ever realize you weren’t serious?
Stab ’em with your fork, Morgan!
You know you want to.
The weird thing is that despite the condescension, their affection is probably %100 sincere.
this is the vibe I get, too.
Don’t tell some body to “stay Nebraska” like it’s cool and then brag about “city lunch”. wtf.
Is there such a thing as a three joint lunch? In Templar? Almost certainly.
Til next time: Stay classy, Templar.
*rant-mode engaged* I retract my comment on the previous comic. Morgan’s co-workers are not simply to be despised. They are not just targets for scorn and ridicule. They are that lowest form of self-centered and self-absorbed creature: Selfish Egotistical Do-Gooders. The kind of person who wants bring the joys of Civilisation within sight, but out of grabbing distance, “tch, tch, we wouldn’t want to ruin your pure and simple Culture.” They’re a form of curiously inept cultural imperialists, who want to colonize the “quaint” towns and countries around the world, “because they’re so darn Beautiful!” Yet, they wouldn’t want to ruin the charm by letting the locals have they same comforts and perks that they themselves enjoy. Oh yes, we HATES them! Gollum, gollum! *rant-mode disengeged* Seriously, I loathe people like that and consider them a canker-sore on the face of society.
seriously, those folks are why I dread the “class discussion time” of any anthropology class I take.
trying to tell me that post-contact amazon tribes living in houses, with jobs, would be better off without a school for their kids because giving the kids an education is destroying their culture. That they would, in fact, be best off by being returned to living in loincloths in the now logged-to-near-nonexistent jungle.
I hear you. That is why I rarely discuss politics, religon, or other “hot button” topics with people, unless I know them fairly well. Too many opinionated morons in the world that judge everything and everyone based on little-to-no information or understanding of the topics. Are you working on an anthro degree, or are they elective courses? I’m curious, because my sister got her degree in zoo-archeaology, and got to sit in on one of her anthropology courses that she TA’ed for.
well, I was thinking about majoring in anthropology, but I got accepted into the art department so I’m an art major with an anthro minor. it’s a liberal education, no one aspect is more useless than any other.
I’m pretty happy with that actually, the professors I had back at the my community college were a lot better than the ones I’ve had so far here at sleepaway college vis-ar-vis lecturing and reasonable opinions on what to do with an anthropology degree. To hear these guys you’d think the best use of an education is to be sitting in a box thinking big thoughts or arguing with other educated people.
it is a fun subject though, I recommend it.
I’ve got this weird feeling of deja vu. Have any similar interactions between people occurred in Templar? Or am I thinking of something else?
What about the scene is givig you deja vu? I just re-read the books today for a larf (and to procrastinate!) and there’s no scene quite like this one that I recall.
It might be a throwback to every condescending nitwit in a high school drama though.
That’s more or less what it reminded me of- high school. And the drama.
Also, the way Head Witch didn’t even respond to the “maybe drunk a little” comment? Maybe they think it’s normal to go out and have a drink or five at “city lunches”.
I think I just might be thinking of something similar I’ve seen elsewhere. I hesitate to say this, because I”ve never watched the show, but maybe Ugly Betty? I swear, I’ve seen something so similar to this (not a negative comment!) and it’s driving me up a wall. Something with a new girl not from the city and condescending coworkers who take an odd condescending interest in the newcomer remaining exactly as precious as they are… hmm, maybe it’s all in my head.
Though I feel better knowing it wasn’t a previous scene in Templar, so that rules that out. Thanks Kat!
Hmm. Well, Curio is awful gung-ho about being friends with “low people” and how it is okay for her to use that term because, y’know, she understands and she’s one of them, (uh, no) but not Tuesday because Tuesday’s a snot okay.
You know what is REALLY awesome about these people? They do this *everywhere*. I had Californian coworkers cooing over how authentically Texan I was in one office job.
They weren’t even joking. I laughed a bunch, though!
Oh man, I got the same thing with my fiance’s American family when they found out I was Canadian. One girl literally ended every sentence with ‘eh’ with a huge smile on her face like she was making me feel welcome… So sincere, so insulting, lol.
Okay, seriously, is this some terrible attempt by her co-workers to butter her up so they can ask her to do some terribly hideous article or job that none of them want to do, and this is their idea of being nice or something?!
Because if so, wow. I want to punch all of them. A lot. Especially Mrs. “LookitmeIeatlunchesinrestaurantsunlikeyousillycountryfolk”.
*Throws monitor out window*
Hot damn spike you know how to touch a nerve with the Internet crowd
this is some war flashback shit here
*screams something incoherent about ‘Charlie’, bites off a piece of his stapler, and throws it*
It’s been twelve years since I’ve even seen it- hell, I’m a computer programmer now, wife and kids and house on mortgage, but inside… inside, I never left the sandbox.
It’s mostly alright during the daytime, I’ve got enough at work and home to keep my mind off things and stave off the terrors till night, but every so often something’ll set me off – a scream, a flushing toilet, the laughter of children – and I’ll be right back in it, watching Rashid knock over my castle and steal my Hot Wheels while the other kids clustered round yelling Sewer Face
Eight weeks ago I came to bashing my oldest son’s head into the wall screaming at him to give me back my Cadillac. The wife’s talking separation and the kids lock the door when I’m at home, but they don’t understand. They can never understand what it was like.
Ivan the Best Poster
EPIC LMAO FTW!!!! Seriously, all l33t-speak aside, I damn near pissed myself laughing just now. You sir, are a TERRIBLE poster. By terrible, I mean funny as hell. Stay classy, Templar. ;D
SMURF HAT YESSSSS
Oh, man, I just realized. They think that “Heather-Anne” is all one hyphenated first name, don’t they?
My sister’s middle name is “Ann”; she had the worst trouble going to school in the South with teachers who refused to believe that it wasn’t supposed to be tacked onto her first name with a hyphen.
I am slightly frightened that I must agree.
i really wish her name was pepper ann. lolll. these people are cocks.
I don’t think The Middle Child is at all interested in affection for Morgan. Look not only at the words, check the eyes in panel one yesterday, then eyes, smug smile, arm placement, hip tilt in panel two today coupled with what she’s said.
Thing 1 and Thing 2 I still don’t believe are all there (they may be sincere, sycophants, under the influence, or sincere sycophants under the influence), but Ms. Ringleader? That’s a circling shark, if e’er I’ve seen one.
That is the true horror of the hipster
you can’t tell when it’s sincere
No, the true horror is that even if you do know, you never know how to react.
Well you can always claim later that whatever you did, you were doing it ironically.
I find I must agree. I think you picked the right animal to describe her, too. she has very cold, “dead” eyes, which is a testament to Spikes drawing ability. I wonder, since Ms. Victorian Tigershark is a hipster, does this mean that her eyes will “ironically” roll back into her head when she goes in for the kill?
I’m not sure whether these strange people are being sincere or not. Either way, the actual Sincerists must *hate* them.
I doubt sincerists would be hired at a magazine like Pandorea. Imagine the advice columnist telling the anorexic 17 year old to shut the hell up and eat a box of donuts, or the “How to get a guy” article that reveals the subtle effects of making him a sandwich or giving head. God forbid Pandorea did politics, the liberal media’s head would spin.
More key than how much of a bunch of assholes these people are, is that Morgan is dealing with all of this madness with some true class right there.
in high school those are the people i wanted to hit with bullets
There are still people I want to hit with bullets. Or a baseball bat…or whatever’s at hand and heavy. Personally I consider it a mark of success for my parents(and an indication that I am, in fact, “civilized”) that I haven’t done so.
Man, I was thinking maybe they were trying to get a rise out of here. Of course nothing pisses off snooty people like not being offended when they try to make fun of you.
Gads. I *hate* cubeland. I think anyone’s who’s spent much time in one, has run into these kinds of losers before. $10 says Morgan isn’t even from Nebraska.
Oh God…this is just like whenever I leave the state. The usual conversation goes like so:
Them: So, where ya from?
Me: Kansas City.
Them: Oh, all the way out in Kansas?
Me: Uh…no, in Missouri.
Them: But it says Kansas in it…are you sure it’s not in Kansas?
Me: Yeah, I’m pretty sure I know which city I live in. There are two Kansas City’s ya know.
Then there’s always, “Do you have sheep/a farm/pigs/cows/cotton growing out where you live?!”
Wow. I love them and hate them. They’d be great to hang with if they remained this stoned constantly. :D
That’s a little like my mom acts like when she’s drunk. Not so much trying to be condescending, but she’s at the top of the world when she’s riding the margarita waves of bliss.
I lived in Kansas for quite a while. I couldn’t leave the state without some idiot asking if I’d seen a tornado or if I’d ever met Dorothy. Sheesh.
Been reading this comic for a while, it is amazing.
As a native Nebraskan I gotta say this is spot on. You wouldn’t believe the stuff people say. It’s amazing how stupid them there city folk can be.
I’m from Nebraska as well, when the girls soccer team when to out of state finals, apparently someone asked them if we ride cows to school. I’m very proud of my good friend gabby, usually the sweetest thing, who procceeded to convince a group of about 20+ girls that we don’t ride cows, we ride tractors (Geez, where do you think we’re from? Iowa?).
And, being from GA, I’ve often wondered if folks in Alabama tell jokes about Mississippi the way Georgians do about Alabama. I don’t even want to know what they say in South Cackalacky…
God, I know how that feels. I’m from Tennessee, and whenever I’ve been out of state, I always get questions like “So, have you ever worked on a farm? HAVE YOU SEEN A COW IN REAL LIFE?” I would have been a lot more offended when it came to those questions if the answers weren’t “Yes and yes”…that’s not really fair though. My grandfather is one of the very few that have farms here, and the cow thing…well…there’s just a lot of damn cows in Tennessee, to be honest. But MAN OH MAN, people who ask me if I’ve ever met Miley Cyrus are my third least favorite people, below people who bring babies into theaters and people who make ‘Geico gecko’ jokes. /rant
Anywho, I hope Morgan doesn’t snap.
I actually suffer the almost opposite of this–I lived in England for 10 years and came out with a bit of an English accent, so everyone does the tea and scones and “I hope our rough-n-tumble American selves don’t offend” thing. They’re always floored when I swear. And when they find out I’ve lived in Texas for near 10 years, too. It’s almost as if they think England and Texas are such polar opposites that I couldn’t survive in the one having lived in the other.
And apparently to the English I now sound like a Scot thanks to the Texan accent I seem to have picked up a bit. I guess that’s what you get when you cross-breed an Englishman and a Texan–a Scotsman.
What the hell is wrong with glasses guy’s eyes?
Serious Answers please.
i want to slap that woman in the last pannel and not in a fun way
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